Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Due to
the advanceed
Correct your spelling
advanced
technology
nowadays with cheap and easy access, people
start
to do Wrong verb form
have started
activities
remotely from their house
, a debate has emerged regarding whether this
technology
leads a positive or negative consequences. I believe that technology
brings a positive development despite its possible to
influence Fix the infinitive
apply
social
life.
The Change preposition
on social
convenient
of using Replace the word
convenience
technology
in this
era has helped people
to do activities
more effective
in terms of time and cost efficiency. Change the word
effectively
Technology
nowadays with cheaper and easier access, it
facilitate Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to do their activities
easier
, faster, and cheaper. Rephrase
more easily
For instance
, adults do not need to commute from their house
to go to Fix the agreement mistake
houses
office
where they work which Add an article
the office
an office
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
times
and money, Fix the agreement mistake
time
instead
they can work remotely from their Add a comma
instead,
house
and Fix the agreement mistake
houses
using
an Internet connection which leads an efficient time and cost as they do not need to spend much time and money to travel for Wrong verb form
use
working
.
Change the form of the verb
work
On the other hand
, the use of technology
has shifted the regular activities
of people
and reduced them to interact with each other, which can leads
them to be Change the verb form
lead
an
individualistic and anti-social. Change the article
apply
People
utilize technology
for their daily activities
, such
as working, studying, or even shopping, can
impact social Correct pronoun usage
which can
trend
because it is shifted from the original way. Fix the agreement mistake
trends
For instance
, children do not need to go to school for studying
, Change preposition
to study
instead
, they can remotely study from their house
using an Internet connection without meeting any of their friends physically. It is considered that it can Correct your spelling
homes
leads
children in society into individualistic and anti-social. Change the verb form
lead
However
, the utilization of technology
can still be controlled and managed by people
to protect from
Correct pronoun usage
it from
misused
.
In conclusion, the Change the form of the verb
misuse
convenient
of using Replace the word
convenience
technology
with cheaper and more accessible can
be more efficient for Correct word choice
and can
people
to help them doing
their Change the form of the verb
do
activities
. Yet people
still have to manage and control to prevent from
excessive utilization of Change preposition
apply
technology
which can shift and impact their social life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, add more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. Also, make sure to address both sides of the debate in more detail.
task achievement
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas. Proofreading to correct minor grammatical and vocabulary errors can help in making sentences more comprehensible.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more varied transition words and phrases to link ideas more effectively. This will make your essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single point and that there is a clear logical progression from one idea to the next. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively.
supported main points
Your main points are generally clear and are supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!