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Band 5.5

School uniforms have always been a subject of heated debates.

#school #uniforms #debates
Nowadays, most
schools
 demand special
uniforms
 from the
pupils
 for primary and secondary
schools
 which differ from ordinary clothes in their design and colour. I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
uniforms
 have to be
integral
Change the article
an integral
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 part of
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
 process. There are some benefits of wearing standard
uniforms
 in
schools
 and one of them is that school
uniforms
 set economic equality among teenagers.
Instead
 of having to dress
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
 clothes, all the members of the classes wear the same colour and the same quality outfit. Most
schools
 even request
the
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apply
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uniforms
 from the same tailor, so all they look the same. The standard dresses have a significant positive effect on learners
due to
 eliminating social ranking among them
,
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 since none of them is concerned about the poor quality of their clothes. Another benefit of standard
uniforms
 is the fact that
it
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they
show examples
 considerably affect the learning process. The
pupils
 who wear the same uniform have better concentration on the subjects and are not distracted
due to
 various styles and
fashion
Fix the agreement mistake
fashions
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. If there is no requirement to wear standard
uniforms
, the parents and students will have to select the dress which coincides with the fashion and modern style.
As a
result
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result,
show examples
 the
pupils
 within classes will
also
 try to follow the fashion which will lead to collective distraction.
To sum up
, because of
economic
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the economic
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 benefit and academic contribution of the
uniforms
,
schools
 should implement and follow up criteria dealing with the
uniforms
 of the
pupils
. Students, parents and
schools
 should collectively
coopreate
Correct your spelling
cooperate
 in
implementation
Correct article usage
the implementation
show examples
 of uniform regulations. (Samir Nabiyev)
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, consider creating smoother transitions between ideas to enhance the essay's flow.
coherence cohesion
In terms of supporting main points, aim for some more specific examples or evidence to make your argument even stronger.
task achievement
Try to refine your ideas a bit more to make them even clearer and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Excellent introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Very good and complete response to the task with relevant arguments.
task achievement
The use of logical arguments and specific benefits makes the essay compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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