IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People buy a product if it fulfils their needs; there is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#people #product #fulfils #advertisement
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In today's highly competitive market,
advertisements
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 play a crucial role in establishing a company's presence among competitors.
While
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 some argue that people buy
products
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 solely based on their needs, rendering
advertisements
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 unnecessary, I strongly disagree with
this
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 viewpoint. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
this
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 opinion and present my perspective using examples and reasons. One perspective holds that people only purchase items that are essential or meet their needs,
thus
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 negating the need for
advertisements
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.
This
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 view often stems from the belief that
products
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 are sometimes oversold to
consumers
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, leading to false promises about their
benefits
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.
For instance
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, if a seller advertises a vacuum cleaner as indestructible and claims it will
last
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 a lifetime,
such
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 promises are undoubtedly misleading.
However
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, it is true that many
companies
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 use
advertisements
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 to their advantage, sometimes inflating the product's perceived value, which can be ethically questionable. Despite
this
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, I believe
advertisements
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 are necessary for several reasons.
First,
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they inform people about the existence of
products
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 that are integral to daily life,
such
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 as vacuum cleaners, dish soap, and other household items.
Advertisements
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 help
companies
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 communicate the unique features and
benefits
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 of their
products
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, enabling
consumers
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 to make informed decisions by comparing them with other available options in the market.
Moreover
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, advertising helps
companies
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 build and maintain their brand image and foster loyalty among their customers.
For example
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, consider the introduction of a new eco-friendly cleaning product. Without
advertisements
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, potential customers might never learn about its environmental
benefits
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 or effectiveness compared to conventional
products
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.
Advertisements
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 play a vital role in educating
consumers
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 and promoting
products
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 that align with their values and preferences. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
advertisements
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 are essential. They not only help
consumers
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 become aware of various
products
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 but
also
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 allow
companies
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 to showcase their unique features and
benefits
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. Advertising ultimately supports informed purchasing decisions and highlights the importance of brand presence in the market.
Therefore
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,
advertisements
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 are crucial in today's consumer-driven society.
Submitted by nick on

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general
Your essay provides a clear position on the topic and effectively argues your viewpoint. Make sure to strengthen your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, connecting the points within paragraphs more fluidly would improve the overall reading experience.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your opinions. Ensure these examples are more detailed and varied to provide a comprehensive argument.
general
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You presented clear and comprehensive ideas, making your viewpoint easy to understand.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure with main points supported by examples strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer awareness
  • brand image
  • unique selling proposition (USP)
  • target audience
  • competitive advantage
  • market saturation
  • perception
  • demand generation
  • informative content
  • persuasive techniques
  • brand loyalty
  • mass media
  • consumer behavior
  • advertising campaign
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