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Band 3.5

Some people like to try new things for example, place to visit and try new food.other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with.discuss both and give your opinion.

#people #place #visit #food
This
 topic has always been disputable, society's interest in travelling and cuisine choice changes as time flies.
However
, some people always
like
Add the particle
like to
show examples
 do
things
 in their own comfort zone. On the one hand, society always likes to attempt new adventure activities as it encourages them
as well as
 enhances their knowledge from the new experiments.
For instance
,one can like to wander in totally different cities
such
 as Turkey
in addition
 to
explore
Wrong verb form
exploring
show examples
 new sights, view of natural surroundings and their authentic food as well.
As a result
, it could moderate their perspective towards new cultures ,customs and rituals.
On the other hand
, individuals like monotonous lifestyles as they might have been denied to do new
things
 in their routine
as a consequence
 of
this
, they could not experience new
things
.
In contrast
, it would be proven beneficial if someone follows
Correct article usage
a
show examples
routine he/she may become
master
Correct article usage
a master
show examples
 in it.
For example
, individual practices cricket regularly,there are chances
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they would be
skilled
Add an article
a skilled
the skilled
show examples
 person in
this
 field.
Moreover
, human always feels secure in their own surroundings as compared to new places. In a nutshell, I have to put my pen down to say that experiencing new
things
 in different provinces is better for acquiring knowledge than being in their own region.
Submitted by jenny.15121996 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation to enhance readability and clarity.
task achievement
Ensure all main points are fully developed with specific examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer and more concise introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively.
task response
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which is essential for task completion.
task achievement
The use of examples like traveling to Turkey and practicing cricket adds depth to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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