IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

task 2: people think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

#people #government #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
One school of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
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 holds that the cost of fuel for
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 should be charged more by the
government
 as
solution
Add an article
a solution
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for
Change preposition
to
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 environmental problems.
While
 it may be useful for some reasons, I would believe that there are more sufficient measures to deal with environmental issues. On the one hand, there are positive effects
for
Change preposition
to
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 the idea of increasing the cost of energy used by
cars
 or other means of transport. The foremost advantage is the possibility to decrease the number of journeys by
conventional
Change the adjective
conventionally
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 fueled transports among monetary
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 people as cost
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
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 may cause them financial problems.
This
 renders more citizens
choose
Fix the infinitive
to choose
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 public
transports
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transport
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such
 as
bus
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buses
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 or
tram
Fix the agreement mistake
trams
show examples
 for much more reasonable fees.
In addition
, the money raised can be used to invest in researching for hybrid
cars
 or completely electricity-generating
cars
 and improve public
transports’
Change noun form
transport’s
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 qualities. With the former, the atmosphere can be better without
dusty
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dust
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 and toxic emissions,
while
 the latter encourages residents to use buses or trams more frequently, escalating into
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a habit.
On the other hand
, the aforementioned idea only
attributes
Verb problem
aims
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 to solve
limit
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limited
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 facets of environmental s including air pollution and energy concerns. To solve the issues from
roots
Correct article usage
the roots
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, more effective measures are necessary
in addition
 to the cooperation between individuals and
government
Correct article usage
the government
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.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should spend money to educate and raise people’s awareness about the seriousness of environmental matters.
This
 means that
individual
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individuals
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 may pay attention to and
favor
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favour
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 friendly-environment products or schemes.
Besides
, enforcing
assistant
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assistance
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 policies to firms which contribute to
preserve
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preserving
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 the environment through innovating products or inventing tools helps to gain benefits for
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 but
also
 sustainable
economic
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economics
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. Take,
for example
,
Vinfast
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the Vinfast
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 car brand, it has emerged lately with the aim of developing electric
cars
 and motorbikes, it now
expands
Wrong verb form
expanding
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 its business as
technological
Correct article usage
a technological
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 electric taxi brand thanks to the
ensurance
Correct your spelling
insurance
 from the
government
 and widely introducing it
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 national
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 channels.
Submitted by mylinhlee27 on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the essay prompt are fully addressed and develop each main point thoroughly to provide a complete response.
task response
Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding overly complex sentence structures. Try to make your points clearer and more concise.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring smooth transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence. This will help maintain the reader's engagement and understanding.
coherence cohesion
Be consistent with pronouns and noun forms to avoid confusion. This will improve the clarity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear framework for the essay.
task response
The essay includes specific examples to support its main points, which adds credibility to the arguments made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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