Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some consider
plants
and Fix the agreement mistake
plant
animals
extinction to be the modern era’s main environmental problem, Change the noun form
animal
while
others argue that “survival of the fittest” is the primary reason many weaker species
have become extinct and climate change is the more pressing matter. This
essay will explore why stopping pollution
should take priority to
saving dying Change preposition
over
species
.
There have been many attempts to preserve endangered species
in zoos as well as
laboratories. It is estimated that there are currently more than a thousand active revitalization and protection programs for plants
and animals
throughout the world, such
as the Chinese panda breeding initiative, the white rhino security personnels
in Africa or the genetic modification to revive dead Correct your spelling
personnel
plants
in America. But regardless of the effort, biodiversity still dwindles due to
negative changes in the worldwide biosphere.
Therefore
it is clear that
pollution
is the more important problem that needs to be addressed. Industrial exhaust, oil spills and deforestation are major factors that contribute to the extinction of various animals
. If these effects are halted or reversed, nature will recover, affording plant and animal species
greater survivability. One example of this
was during the Coronavirus outbreak in 2020: a large number of factories worldwide were closed for quarantine which significantly reduced pollution
, resulting in improved environment in the oceans as well as
forests.
In conclusion, stopping pollution
should take precedence over the effort to protect dying wildlife. When pollutants are removed, plants
and animals
will be able to thrive in habitable areas thus
preventing extinction.Submitted by lel819094 on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear indication of the issues being discussed. However, consider elaborating a bit more on both views before stating your stance to provide a smoother transition to your main argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally coherent, there are a few places where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try using more linking words and phrases to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported, but the discussion could benefit from further elaboration on how each specific example ties back to your main argument. This will enhance the reader's understanding of your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to revisit your conclusion and possibly summarise both views a bit more strongly before providing your final opinion. This will reinforce the balance in your discussion.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the Chinese panda breeding initiative and the Coronavirus pandemic’s environmental impact, adds depth to your argument and demonstrates your point effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well and provide a solid structure.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?