Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Advertising has become a marketing tool
that is
commonly used in today’s world.
While
some people perceive it as a very useful tool to encourage someone to buy things, others believe that it is not work again because people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
attention
to it anymore. I believe advertising still works for nudging people to buy things and will discuss the various aspects of
this
topic In
this
essay. On the one hand, advertising can be found in many places,
however
, not all advertising has a good placement strategy. There are some
companies
that have advertisements that
not
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do not
show examples
put on a suitable target market area.
For instance
, billboards for
babies
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baby
show examples
food that
put
Add a missing verb
are put
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
high school
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
would not get many
buyer’s
Fix the agreement mistake
buyers’
show examples
attention
compared to billboards which put in kindergarten or playground areas.
That is
because their majority target markets are moms that usually there in kindergarten and playground areas.
On the other hand
, some advertisements have proven to bring some positive impacts for
companies
. Some
companies
who have a good strategy for their advertisement leads to
bring
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bringing
show examples
more awareness and
sales
conversation.
For example
, a milk product called
bear
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Bear
show examples
has good advertising by bringing a good message
to achieve
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about achieving
show examples
a healthy life that resonates with their customer, and
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
more
sales
during COVID-19.
Moreover
, nowadays there are many forms of advertisement that are more creative and get people’s
attention
. Another success story, naming rights for some banking products in mass rapid transit in Indonesia became viral and reached high awareness among citizens.
Thus
, some citizens have started to consider using that viral banking product.
Finally
,
Although
, some advertisements are not successful
due to
the wrong target market, others are extremely successful in getting more awareness and
sales
. I believe with good strategies in advertising, the
companies
would get more buyer’s
attention
and
sales
conversion.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance readability. For instance, 'not work again' should be 'does not work anymore.'
Introduction
Include a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to clearly outline the points you will discuss.
Paragraph Structure
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use topic sentences to preview the paragraph's content.
Content Development
Provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This will help make your arguments more convincing.
Structure
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, with a solid effort to address both views and provide a personal opinion.
Balanced Argument
The essay makes a good attempt to discuss both views fairly and balance the discussion.
Examples
Use of real-life examples, such as the advertisement for a milk product and banking products, to bolster the argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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