In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

In many cultures,
children
are raised with the saying (if you try hard enough everything is achievable), I am going to discuss the pros and cons of planting
this
idea in the minds of
children
and why I am opposed to it. In the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
show examples
let me mention some of the advantages mentioned by some people, they believe that raising
children
with the idea that nothing is impossible will give them the motivation and confidence needed to work hard for their dreams no matter how big the goal is. parents who use
this
method trust that building the mentality of success in the brain of
children
is the key to better
feature
Fix the agreement mistake
features
show examples
. one example of
that is
in some cultures young
children
are encouraged only if they
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
a certain goal regardless of the effort made by them.
on the other hand
, some cultures raise their offspring with the message that (effort does not always pay off), And I totally agree with that from a personal experience, telling a child that everything is possible if you put enough work into it will reflect negatively on them when they don't get the results they expected after working hard, leaving them feeling weak and unworthy, and might even frustrate them from trying again.
For instance
, if we tell someone that if you study hard enough you will 100% be able to attend medical school, and they graduate top of their class but can't go to college
due to
financial problems it will reflect badly on their morale and psychological status. Success has many factors
such
as opportunity, economy, effort and many other factors. Parents should reward attempts regardless of the results to create a culture of resilience.
lastly
, in my point of view, the cons are greater than the pros. raising anyone with the idea that efforts always pay off is not realistic and may lead to bad consequences on the morale of the whole generation.
Submitted by llaora on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph covers a single idea or aspect of the topic. This will help with clarity and prevent your main points from feeling jumbled together.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, try to make them slightly more robust. A stronger introduction can set the tone for the essay, and a strong conclusion can leave a lasting impression.
task achievement
You've successfully identified and discussed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic. This points to a well-rounded perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly states your stance on the issue, which is crucial for a high-scoring IELTS essay.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • resilience
  • self-belief
  • confidence
  • unrealistic expectations
  • talent
  • opportunity
  • pressure
  • stress
  • failure
  • inadequacy
  • collaborate
  • adaptable
  • motivates
  • setbacks
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