IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that printed books are no longer needed in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books will still play an important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Over the past few decades, there has been a tremendous increase in the utilisation of electronic devices to store
information
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.
While
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 some may argue that printed material are not required, others think that it will play a crucial role in keeping track of
data
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.
This
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 essay will discuss these two viewpoints and come to a logical conclusion.
To begin
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, there is an argument to be made that in today's fast-paced world, there is a requirement to store and analyse large amounts of sensitive
information
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. Digitization has undoubtedly aided in
this
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 process as it makes it easy to identify and track down
data
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 quickly and efficiently.
For example
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, the usage of software in hospitals which presents the doctor with the medical history, previous surgeries and current medications of a specific patient, has significantly improved the quality of health care.
Additionally
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, since the beginning of the digital era, there have been positive changes with regard to the carbon footprint, which has proved to be beneficial for the planet. For these reasons, it is clearly evident that the introduction of electronics has facilitated the advancement of
data
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 storing techniques. Another school of thought believe that
information
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 on paper is reliable and safe.
For instance
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, personal
data
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 uploaded to the internet can be easily accessed by hackers leading to a breach in privacy.
This
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 can be undesirable and potentially dangerous for the public.
Moreover
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, there is an increased threat of destruction of the
data
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 when stored electronically, as it can encounter various malicious viruses.
Therefore
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, with
this
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 in mind, it is undeniable that printed material can be relied upon and is efficient in securing
information
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.
To conclude
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,
although
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 many believe that paper-based
data
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 is reliable and safe, electronics present
data
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 quickly and make it easily available.
Hence
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, in my opinion, printed material is no longer necessary and electronics can perform the same task efficiently.

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from additional specific examples to strengthen the argument. For instance, mentioning particular statistics or studies related to data safety or environmental benefits could provide more concrete support.
task achievement
Ensure the argument for each viewpoint is given balanced attention. The paragraph about printed materials could be expanded slightly to provide a fairer comparison.
coherence cohesion
Transitions and linking words are generally used well, but ensure that each argument flows smoothly to the next. For example, linking the points on digital efficiency and environmental impact more clearly could enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. This provides a strong structure for your argument.
logical structure
Main points are logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments. You have also stayed on topic, which is excellent for coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized access
  • carry thousands of books in a single device
  • eliminating the need for physical storage space
  • environmentally friendly
  • reduce the carbon footprint
  • adjustable font sizes
  • integrated dictionaries
  • enhance the reading experience
  • tangible experience
  • distinct smell of paper
  • do not rely on electronic devices
  • battery life or device malfunctions
  • perception of greater legitimacy and trustworthiness
  • academic circles
  • extensive reading materials
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