In some places old age is valued,while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There has long been a dispute about which group—younger generations or the elderly—deserves the greatest appreciation. Despite the economic ideals that young adults tend to promote, I believe that older
people
deserve gratitude because of their extensive knowledge and universal human morals. Those who believe that youth should be highly valued may argue that having a young population is essential to the development and growth of the country's economy. Young
people
make up the bulk of the workforce worldwide, and they are creative, driven, and industrious in their pursuit of innovations across a wide range of industries.
As a result
, they are essential for increasing economic growth and raising living standards.
Therefore
, it is important to create opportunities for the younger generation so they can broaden their horizons and become valuable contributors to society. Consider the 37-year-old CEO of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, as an excellent example.
This
innovative young guy has successfully built a global social network and a
multibillion dollar
Add a hyphen
multibillion-dollar
show examples
business model that has the potential to drastically improve communication around the world. Despite the aforementioned arguments, I continue to hold the opinion that elderly
people
should never be less valued for their wealth of knowledge and moral ideals in life. In reference to the former, seniors ought to be treated with the utmost dignity and respect because they have dedicated their entire lives to advancing our society. Alongside
this
, older
people
have a wealth of life experience
that is
passed down from one generation to the
next,
containing priceless lessons that are crucial for helping young
people
overcome challenges and steer clear of bad paths in life.
This
information clarifies the reasoning behind the fact that there are a lot of senior leaders in the world. In conclusion, I would contend that despite acknowledging the youth's potential in the economy, the old should be appreciated because of their extensive knowledge and the moral standards that have defined human civilization.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly. The discussion on both views and your opinion was present, but could be clearer and more nuanced.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking ideas more smoothly and clearly throughout the essay. Using a variety of linking words and clear paragraphs can enhance the essay's flow.
task response
Ensure the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main argument and views discussed. A more detailed conclusion summarizing the key points briefly would strengthen the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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