Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country should be strictly controlled. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.
In
this
contemporary epoch, various nations around the globe are facing troubles due to
increasing population
. Some governments try to control it by imposing high taxes on people with a greater number of kids. A certain number of folks agree with the rulers while
critics do not agree with the statements. In my opinion, making strict regulations for society by the executives is sometimes necessary.
To begin
with, the most prominent reason is that the proliferation in population
leads to the
relentless number of issues in countries Correct article usage
a
such
as poverty, unemployment and lack of education. Therefore
, when the government takes steps to maintain balance in their society by imposing higher taxes on large families is totally acceptable. Overpopulation has numerous negative effects on income levels.
Furthermore
, another pivotal reason is that higher population
leads to the overutilization of the nation's natural resources, for instance
, soil erosion, water pollution, and excessive use of coal and petroleum products as well. If the resources are overused the country's GDP level starts falling and the tax rates are all basic items for large families get
Verb problem
apply
skyrocketing
. Common people do not agree and try to disobey the rules but the higher officials have no other option left, Wrong verb form
skyrocket
instead
of following rigid policies.
However
, a few decades ago the population
of India and China was increasing at a fast pace. China implemented strict tax policies and the rate decreased by approximately 0.6%. Meanwhile, India followed the same pathway but they were so flexible that they failed to do so. Thus
, India is dealing with high levels of poverty in their country.
To conclude
, a large proportion of people in a nation is not only a danger to the GDP but also
for
the natural resources. Change preposition
to
Therefore
, if the government want to control it through the high tax rates, I totally agree with their view and policies for the betterment of the nation.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
To achieve a more complete response, the essay should address potential negative aspects or counterarguments to the government's control over the population, and provide rebuttals or further analysis.
task achievement
While the essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, there is a need for deeper exploration of these ideas. Further elaboration on the relationship between overpopulation and problems such as poverty, unemployment, and environmental degradation would be beneficial.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the arguments made. For instance, detailing specific policies or initiatives other governments have implemented and their results would strengthen the essay's argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Using transitions and cohesive devices more effectively will help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Continue to refine the logical structure of the essay. While the introduction and conclusion are strong, the body paragraphs should be better connected and build on each other more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a well-structured introduction and conclusion, setting a clear framework for the argument.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly the discussion of China and India's differing approaches.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task with a clear stance and logical arguments, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Comprehensive ideas are clearly communicated, making the essay easy to follow and understand.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.