Today more and more people want things instantly. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, people lead a hectic schedule which makes lives faster.
Furthermore
,
this
is the major cause of demanding
things
instantly. I believe
this
is a positive development
due to
the advantages of encouraging in development of the commercial and social prevalent values. It is acknowledged that the standard of living is increasingly developed,
also
the cost of living has significantly risen. In order to lead a comfortable and flexible lifestyle, people have to work busier.
As a result
, people's lives are becoming faster so they demand constant
things
.
For instance
, the invention of the ATM is in favour of convenient, safe and faster money transfers, so
this
has alternated complicated and long procedures in mainstream banks.
As a consequence
, humans increasing demands are
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sensible evidence for demanding
things
immediately. It is true that wanting
things
immediately is an effective incentive for industrial and commercial developments. Obviously, producers and businessmen have to speed up their services and mass-production processes in order to fulfil the potential of customers.
As a result
, the elite workforce has been trained and is
also
the first precedence to adapt to the increasing demands.
Moreover
, news has been updated with more urgent and significant information.
Consequently
, desiring
for
Change preposition
apply
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instant
things
helps promote the developments in society and
also
reinforces the values of services and groceries. On balance, the root cause of instant needs is the increasing human demand.
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that
this
exerts positive impacts on humans.
Therefore
, there are still a minority of negative side effects of
this
change that should not be overlooked and authorities need to implement suitable policies to resolve
this
issue thoroughly.

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Specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. While you did illustrate your ideas with examples, incorporating additional detailed examples can enhance the effectiveness of your argument.
Introduction clarity
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the question. While your introduction sets the stage well, a more distinctly articulated thesis could sharpen the focus of your essay.
Cohesive devices
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more seamlessly. While your use of linking words is good, varying them and ensuring smooth transitions could improve the readability of your essay.
Task response
You effectively addressed the prompt, discussing both why people want things instantly and whether it's a positive or negative development.
Essay structure
Your essay structure is clear and logical, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Ideas and development
You made a good effort to provide insights into how the demand for instant services could drive commercial and industrial advancements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • rapid advancement
  • instant communication
  • online shopping
  • fast food delivery
  • social media platforms
  • immediate feedback
  • recognition and validation
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • convenience
  • decreased patience
  • delayed gratification
  • realistic expectations
  • work ethic
  • unrealistic expectations
  • stress
  • dissatisfaction
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