IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.

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Dear Sir/Madam I am the mother of Sandeep from class 9th. When I heard that the school was organizing a trip to India and wanted some parents to join as well, I got very excited. I was born there, did my schooling, and graduated. After marriage, I came to Canada and never got a chance to go back.
This
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 would be the right opportunity for me to travel to my hometown with my son. I have working experience at a children's NGO where we used to organize educational trips for kids. We used to plan travel tickets and hotel bookings.
Also
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, I know how difficult it becomes to manage children, but I can do so with utmost responsibility.
Additionally
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, since I am aware of the country I can help assist in guiding the places Another thing is that I have a few queries related to the trip like which places we will be visiting and If I have to pay additional fees
along with
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 my son. Yours faithfully, Neha

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task achievement
Consider asking more specific questions about the trip itinerary, supervision, and health and safety aspects to provide a more comprehensive query section.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, you might want to use transitional phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' to make the flow of ideas smoother.
task achievement
You have clearly explained your personal interest in joining the trip, which adds a personal touch and relevancy to your application.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a logical structure with clear paragraphs addressing different aspects, making it easy to read and follow.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and respectful, suitable for addressing someone in a position of authority.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and professional.
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