Schools should focus more on teaching students how to be successful in the workforce and less on helping them to achieve academic success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, the learning system has been evolving, and governments are investigating to find the best way which help students learn better, and be successful in their jobs there some people believe a career is really more important than academic learning, so schools must teach how to be a workforce. I broadly agree with

this

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view because both academic learning and

work

Use synonyms

have a relation with each other and learning one of them cannot help us to become successful. On the one hand, when students are learning academically,

then

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after graduation they cannot find a good job, for they just know some theoretical things, and when they start the job they are not able to do their

work

Use synonyms

very professionally so, theory needs the experience of

work

Use synonyms

As a result

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, universities have internships. To learn how can use lessons in

work

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;

then

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improve pupils’ ability.

For instance

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last

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summer I finished my bachelor’s. Later, I spend 3 months in the Isfahan oil refinery. It was a good experience for me to learn to use academic lessons in real

work

Use synonyms

On the other hand

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, if we learn

work

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and how to find occupation opportunities without academic lessons,

then

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we cannot be really good workers

due to

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the fact we just getting better in our talent for regular

work

Use synonyms

, yet we do not know the reason for it.

Therefore

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, in the strategic position we cannot handle these kinds of people like workers who

work

Use synonyms

for oil refineries, and for every situation have to ask from supervisor. In conclusion, when the teaching system uses not only careers but

also

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academics for learning;

hence

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, they can train good workers for society.

maryamkazemi968Thu Jun 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider starting with a clearer introduction that outlines the key points to be discussed, making your essay more structured from the beginning.

task achievement

While you have provided examples, try to make them more specific and directly relevant to your key arguments. This will strengthen your task response.

coherence cohesion

Work on your transition sentences to make the flow between paragraphs smoother. This will enhance your coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

You have addressed the task by discussing both academic learning and workforce preparation, which shows a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

Your essay features a logical structure and presents a clear argument, which is commendable.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

workforce
practical skills
academic success
real-world application
adaptable skills
vocational training
holistic development
evolving job market
academic rigor
interdisciplinary

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Schools should focus more on teaching students how to be successful in the workforce and less on helping them to achieve academic success. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils,while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children of having a school uniform?

Some peoplebelieve that the difference between the lowest paid jobs and tho highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Others believe that students should spend their whole day on academic studies. Discuss both the views and state your opinion?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?