It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Risk-taking is a necessary decision we would ever need to take in our lives. Some people are saying that we should take any opportunities that come to us even if it means that the opportunities have high risks.
However
, there are some disadvantages to risk-taking. Some
prerequisite
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prerequisites
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could be gotten if we are brave enough to take any uncertainty,
such
as the experiences we could get
while
we are taking it. If we never take the prospect that comes to us,
then
we never experience something new.
For example
, when I was in high school, someone called me to offer a student exchange to Japan. At that moment, I was sceptical, but I was doing some research
while
also
measuring the perks that I could get if I accepted
this
opportunity. In the end, I was taking the peril and I got the experience I would never forget in my life.
In contrast
, taking an opportunity
also
might evoke some drawbacks. One of them is that we failed during the process
thus
we would never be able to enjoy the benefits.
In addition
, someone
also
might trick us into taking a fake chance if we do not assess it carefully. In my opinion, making an attempt still outweighs the downsides that we get when we take a chance. The potential burden can be mitigated by making sure that the chance is legit
thus
the risk that someone might trick us is lower. All-in-all, there are perks that we get
while
we are taking prospects, but there are definitely some disadvantages too. The advantage of taking peril exceeds the drawbacks of it.
Submitted by rianadmaja on

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task response
You have effectively provided both sides of the argument, presenting advantages and disadvantages of risk-taking. However, ensure your ideas are more fully developed. For example, detailing the potential drawbacks with more scenarios or examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure, with paragraphing that helps the reader follow your argument. But some parts could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas. Ensuring smoother transitions will enhance coherence and improve the essay's flow.
coherence and cohesion
You have supported your main points with examples, such as the student exchange experience. Adding more specific and diverse examples could help further solidify your points.
task response
Your argument is clear and well-articulated. You've done well considering both pros and cons of risk-taking in specific contexts, which shows depth in your analysis.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly related to the topic. This helps in framing your essay effectively.
supported point
Your personal example fits well within the context of your argument, making it more relatable and persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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