In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays,

people

Use synonyms

's average life has become longer than before. Some critics argue that

this

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phenomenon may produce the

government

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with several issues.

However

Linking Words

, the other believes that the elderly can have a positive effect on our

society

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, and I support

this

Linking Words

perception. On the one hand, some

people

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believe that older

people

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are the burden of the

government

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for several reasons. First of all, because older

people

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usually suffer from health problems,

such

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as heart, blood pressure or brain, they need a lot of medical resources and health care.

Hence

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, the

government

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should allocate more budget for health insurance.

As a result

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, it may decrease funds for other programs.

In addition

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, the older generation tends to have a conflict with younger

people

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, making

society

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unpeaceful.

For example

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, they always fight with teenagers or young women about the priority seat since they believe that only they have the privilege to sit it.

Therefore

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, sometimes,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

seniors cannot provide any benefits to our lives.

On the other hand

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, I consider that older

people

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can assist our

society

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in becoming better. The reason is that the elderly are able to share their unique experience with the younger generation, letting specific fields keep improving.

For example

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, enormous older construction workers acquire plenty of excellent knowledge and experience. If they can pass down their techniques to younger workers, the field of construction can grow continuously, and more techniques can be developed based on older

people

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's experience.

Therefore

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, I believe that older

people

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are fairly important in our

society

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. In conclusion,

while

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senior

people

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sometimes may be an issue to the

government

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, they still provide us with numerous benefits and help

society

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improve.

sun1214.weiweiFri Apr 25 2025

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task achievement

Ensure to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples used in the essay can be more diverse and concrete to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs; consider using more linking words to improve the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Make sure to present a clearer stance in your introduction. It would be beneficial to explicitly state your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

coherence and cohesion

The essay presents clear arguments for both sides of the discussion, showing an understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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