IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Use your own ideas, knowledge and experience to support your arguments

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Quality
education
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 is the fundamental right of any student. The present trend of modern
education
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 is to study abroad, rather than graduating from their
home
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 countries.
This
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 change has its own merits and demerits, they will be discussed in
this
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 essay. To start with, there are numerous advantages to getting their degrees from a foreign
country
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. Primarily, the courses and certificates offered by a foreign university are much more globally accepted and have their own value.
Additionally
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,
this
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 type of
education
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 provides students a wider exposure to new technologies and cultures.
For instance
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, German universities are the best in the field of mechanical engineering, aspirants from India can get more knowledge and experience from the former rather than from their
home
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country
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.
Furthermore
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, a degree from a foreign university can help a prospect find great jobs in other nations and eventually settle down there.
However
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,
this
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 change in educational style has different negative impacts on one's
home
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 society.
Due to
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 the increase in the number of young people migrating to other nations, a substantial dip in the number of young workforce is found.
This
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 can affect different industries and eventually the
country
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's economy. The state of Kerala can be taken as an example, approximately more than two million candidates have migrated to European and American countries for higher
education
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 and jobs.
This
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 is causing a large scarcity of skilled labourers in the state.
In addition
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 to
this
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, fees for studying abroad are a huge amount. Usually, families are applying for student loans.
This
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 creates financial strain on the family.
To sum up
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, there are advantages and disadvantages to foreign
education
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. The positive is, that kids are getting more knowledge about the world and culture and the negative is, a decrease in the number of youth in the
home
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country
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 and the financial liability.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument. However, your conclusions could be more concise and tied directly to the points made in the body paragraphs. This will make your essay more engaging and help the reader to clearly see the connections.
Task Response
Ensure that each main point in your essay is supported by specific examples or evidence. For instance, while you mentioned German universities in the field of mechanical engineering, this example can be expanded further to include statistics or other concrete evidence which strengthens your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You may wish to improve the linkage and transition between some of your ideas to create a smoother flow. For instance, transitioning phrases such as 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' and 'For example,' are used well but ensure they fit naturally within the sentences for better coherence and cohesion.
Task Response
The overall response to the task is complete and your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive. However, there are some areas where you could dive deeper into the analysis. For example, discussing both the short-term and long-term impacts of the financial strain on families would add depth to your essay.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the following discussion. It clearly states that you will be discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
Examples
You’ve included relevant specific examples, such as referencing German universities and the state of Kerala. This helps to substantiate your points and gives the reader a clearer understanding of your arguments.
Clarity of Ideas
Your language is clear and your ideas are articulated in a way that is easy to understand, which contributes positively to the overall readability of your essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Cultural assimilation
  • Academic mobility
  • Cross-cultural
  • Language proficiency
  • Internationalization of education
  • Diaspora
  • Expat community
  • Pedagogic methodologies
  • Cultural literacy
  • Foreign academic credentials
  • Educational disparity
  • Repatriation
  • Xenophobia
  • Ethnocentric perspectives
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