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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many Criminals Reoffend After Being Released from Prison: Causes and Solutions

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Crime recurrence is a serious issue in many societies, as a large number of
criminals
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 commit
further
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offenses
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offences
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 shortly after being released from prison.
This
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 essay will discuss the main causes of
this
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 problem,
such
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 as the lack of
rehabilitation
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 and difficulties in reintegration, and suggest possible solutions to reduce reoffending rates. One of the main reasons why
criminals
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reoffend
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re-offend
 is the lack of
rehabilitation
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programs
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 in prisons. Many prisons focus solely on punishment rather than helping inmates reintegrate into
society
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.
As a result
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, prisoners do not develop the necessary skills or mindset to lead a law-abiding life once they are released.
For example
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, in Scandinavian countries, inmates receive vocational training and psychological support
while
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 serving their sentences. Studies have shown that
such
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rehabilitation
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programs
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 significantly reduce the likelihood of reoffending.
Therefore
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, implementing similar systems in other countries could help ex-prisoners find legal means of employment and avoid committing crimes again. Another major factor contributing to reoffending is the difficulty ex-prisoners face in finding jobs and being accepted by
society
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. Many employers refuse to hire former
criminals
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due to
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 their criminal records, leaving them with limited opportunities to earn a living.
As a result
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, they often return to illegal activities for financial survival.
For instance
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, a survey conducted in the UK found that over 60% of ex-convicts struggled to find stable employment, which directly contributed to their reoffending. To solve
this
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 issue, governments should work with businesses to create employment opportunities for former prisoners.
Additionally
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, community support
programs
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 should be established to help them reintegrate into
society
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 and lead productive lives. In conclusion, the high reoffending rate is mainly caused by the lack of
rehabilitation
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 in prisons and the social and economic challenges ex-prisoners face upon release. To address
this
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 issue, governments should invest in
rehabilitation
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programs
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 and provide support systems that help former
criminals
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 reintegrate into
society
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. By doing so, crime rates can be significantly reduced, creating a safer and more stable community for everyone.

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the main causes and solutions, but it could be strengthened by including a brief overview of the impact of reoffending on society. This would provide a more comprehensive context for your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure, consider using more cohesive devices to enhance the flow between paragraphs. For example, transition words or phrases could help guide the reader through your ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
You cited specific examples from Scandinavian countries and the UK, which is excellent. However, integrating more statistics or case studies could further support your arguments and demonstrate thorough research.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph fully addresses the topic sentence. While your ideas are clear, occasionally expanding on the implications of your points could strengthen your arguments further, particularly in the concluding paragraph.
Task Achievement
Strong argumentation on the lack of rehabilitation programs and their impact on reoffending rates. The essay provides a clear rationale for suggested solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Well-structured paragraphs with appropriate topic sentences that lead into detailed explanations, making your overall argument more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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