Food travels thousand of miles from far to consumer. Some people think it could be better to our enviroment and economic of people only are local produced food. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

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Nowadays foods can be imported to

countries

Use synonyms

easily and it would have some negative and positive aspects. I will discuss two sides of it in the essay.

Due to

Linking Words

having advanced transportation systems,

food

Use synonyms

would

Add a missing verb

show examples

able to be transported between continents. It has some benefits,

Firstly

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, various choices will be provided for people, and individuals can try a variety of

flavors

Change the spelling

flavours

show examples

from all over the world and it brings new recipes and cooking culture too.

Secondly

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, in some

countries

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, some new and efficient supplements have been added to foods that are more healthy and beneficial recently

such

Linking Words

as a new generation of breads.

Finally

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, I would like to mention that a number of necessary nutrient items have been demolished in some

countries

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, to address

this

Linking Words

issue, importing them would be a vital act.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it has disadvantages too. transporting is always cost for governments

due to

Linking Words

providing suitable equipment .

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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storage is another aspect that should be managed.

Additionally

Linking Words

relying on the

food

Use synonyms

resources of the

countries

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is better for their environment, agriculture and farming are the necessary ways to maintain environmentally friendly activities

instead

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of industrial factories. It benefits the economy too. Producing

food

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and preparation process creates lots of job opportunities for the country's citizens. In conclusion, I believe that

while

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sometimes is crucial for governments to import some

food

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, it would be better for governments to have a strong approach to boosting productivity skills and build a sufficient infrastructure for having enough

food

Use synonyms

supply

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their own.

ostorr7213Thu Jun 20 2024

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What works well

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.

task achievement

You have tackled both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

Your essay structure is well-organized with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Improvement Suggestions

task achievement

To score higher, refine your introduction to more clearly establish the context of the discussion. Also, add a more detailed thesis statement outlining the main points you will cover.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow between paragraphs. Use more transitional phrases to better link ideas and arguments.

task achievement

Give more specific and varied examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more compelling and nuanced.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repeating similar phrases and ideas. Aim to explore different angles of the topic to add depth to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Conclude by summarizing the main points more succinctly and potentially offering a recommendation or final thought to leave a lasting impression.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

carbon footprint
locally produced
carbon emissions
support local farmers
strengthen the community's economy
freshness
nutritional value
seasonal eating
varied and balanced diet
higher prices
economies of scale
limited variety
economic viability
food shortages
climate dependency
instability in food supply

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Food travels thousand of miles from far to consumer. Some people think it could be better to our enviroment and economic of people only are local produced food. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

What works well

Improvement Suggestions

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? One should never judge a person by its external appearance. Use specific details and reasons to support your answer.

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many difference from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasond? do the adventages outweight disadventages?

People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungee jumping should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers should not risk their lives to save people doing those sports. Do you agree or disagree?