Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of the violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Dicuss both view

It is argued by some
people
that movies shown on television or in theatres which contain ferocity should be controlled by the government
while
an alternative point of view is that the
amount
of
violence
should be kept intact.
This
essay agrees with the previous statement and lays out the responses below There can be no doubt that almost the majority of viewers nowadays are teenagers. For that reason, the appeasement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent
films
with too many abusive
elements
has a profound effect on mental faculty.
Moreover
, these
films
have an effect on not only the young but
also
the adults.
This
content leads to an increase in criminal crime. The fact that
people
who watch abusive
elements
frequently think that using guns or knives is normal and easy to break the law.
As a result
, reducing the
amount
of
violence
in violent
films
certain that
people
will never have abusive behaviour An alternative viewpoint of
this
case is that many
people
still support the development of
action
films
with high excitement.
This
is because several
people
watch
action
films
as a way to relax. They feel engaged with violent
elements
and not be attracted if
this
content is controlled by the government. For that reason, many argue that
violence
is
special
Add an article
a special
the special
show examples
feature of
this
genre of
films
and to ensure that they will earn enough profit, abusive features are necessary.
This
may be true but watching too many violent
elements
and behaviours is always a potential danger with the thoughts and manner of
people
This
writer
contend
Change the verb form
contends
show examples
that the limit of age for
action
or horror movies is not a good solution. What I mean is many cinemas lack responsibility for age control
therefore
many teenagers who are not old enough can watch movies with high levels of
violence
.
Thus
, limiting the
amount
of
violence
in these
films
is always a necessary solution to certain the development of the country In conclusion, despite the contributions of
action
films
to the economy of the country, they are
also
a risk to children and the development of the country. The government should reduce the
amount
of
violence
in
action
films
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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and both sides of the argument are addressed, including more concrete examples would strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the transition between some of your points to ensure a seamless flow of ideas.
language
Additionally, ensure that all vocabulary is used accurately, and minor grammatical errors are minimized for a smoother read.
coherence cohesion
Your essay uses a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a conclusion, which greatly aids in readability.
task achievement
You have provided a well-explained argument for regulating violence in films and effectively contrasted it with the opposing viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your use of linking words and phrases generally helps in connecting your ideas logically.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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