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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show the sources of electricity produced in 4 countries between 2003 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #sources #electricity #countries #information #features #comparisons
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The charts
describes
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describe
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 the
sources
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 of electricity in 4 countries (
India
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,
Sweden
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 ,
Morocco
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,Vietnam ). For 5 years , from 2003 until 2005 . In the next
paragraphs
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paragraphs,
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i
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I
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 will
furher
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further
 elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
 specific data regarding
this
Linking Words
 chart .
Overall
Linking Words
 , the chart illustrates
tha
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that
the
Sweden
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 and
India
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 have three
sources
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 of
power
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 which are fossil fuel ,
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hydro
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hydropower
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power
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 , and nuclear
power
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 .
While
Linking Words
Morocco
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 and
Veitnam
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Vietnam
 have only two kinds of electricity which are fossil
feul
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fuel
fuels
 and
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hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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power
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 .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , when examining
India
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 and
Sweden
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 ,
India
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's major
precentage
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percentage
 of fuel
compines
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companies
in
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is
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 fossil
fuel
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fuels
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 which is about 80% of the entire
sources
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 of electricity , as
oppossed
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opposed
 to
Sweden
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 minimum percentage which is about 2% .
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
Morocco
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 and
Veitnam
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Vietnam
 had only two
sources
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 of
power
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 which are fossil
feul
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fuel
fuels
 and
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hydro
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hydropower
show examples
power
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 .
Use synonyms
Morocco's
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Morocco
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 mainly depends on
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hydro
Correct your spelling
hydropower
show examples
power
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 , which represents 90 % of the total usage .
While
Linking Words
 Vietnam
compined
Correct your spelling
combined
 the usage of the two powers
specificly
Correct your spelling
specifically
 used 60 % and 40% respectively.
Submitted by nouf.alkhalaifi2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, india, sweden, morocco, power, hydro with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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