Many governments spend too much money on weapons and military equipment. It would be better for the government to use the money spent on the military to improve its citizens' quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays government authorities invest enormous amounts of
money
in purchasing various military equipment and weapons. Some claim that spending that Use synonyms
money
on developing people's living conditions would have more beneficial impacts on society rather than splurging on empowering military forces. I completely agree with the given statement since it will enhance the Use synonyms
economy
of the Use synonyms
countries
and will help them to develop good relationships with other Use synonyms
countries
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, one of the primary reasons for supporting the idea of expending Linking Words
money
on boosting people's quality of life is the fact that it will directly impact on Use synonyms
level
of economic activities of the governments. The primary method of increasing the satisfaction Use synonyms
level
of the public is to encourage residents to engage in certain business activities within the country and allow them to contribute to the production Use synonyms
level
of certain domestic products. By Use synonyms
following
Linking Words
this
route, states can enhance the entire Linking Words
economy
, which in turn will increase people's Use synonyms
overall
well-being. Linking Words
For instance
, South Korea is renowned for having a population with high income and better living conditions achieved by investing in numerous sectors of the Linking Words
economy
.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, spending a lot of Linking Words
money
on the Use synonyms
economy
and increasing the production Use synonyms
level
of the country will encourage governments to trade internationally. In order to make the process of importing and exporting goods and services from and to overseas Use synonyms
countries
, authorities to build sustainable and long-term relationships with one another, and evade all potential conflicts in the future. Those initiatives will completely eliminate the need for funding the purchase of arms and weapons and expanding their armies. Use synonyms
For example
, nowadays China is the main provider of many products to the other states, and without its transactions, many Linking Words
countries
would lack basic goods and services. Use synonyms
Therefore
, almost all Linking Words
countries
are trying to have a better connection with it and avoid all points that might lead to war.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, in my opinion, Linking Words
instead
of allocating too much Linking Words
money
to military services, governments should concentrate on improving the well-being of citizens to possess a better Use synonyms
economy
and stronger communications with the rest of the world.Use synonyms
Submitted by Narmin on
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of staying focused on the task and offers clear reasons for your viewpoint. However, to achieve an even higher score, you might consider addressing potential counterarguments and demonstrating why they are less compelling.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, further refining your transition phrases and making sure each point smoothly connects to the next could enhance readability. For instance, the transition between your first and second main point could be more fluid.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the essay well. It is concise and directly relevant to the task.
coherence cohesion
The essay's body paragraphs are structured logically, and each paragraph focuses on one main idea which supports your overall argument.