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Band 7.5

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

#consumers #numbers #advertisements #companies #measures
The number of adverts shown nowadays has considerably risen. In my opinion, these advertisements have a great influence on consumer behaviour.
Nevertheless
, governments shouldn'
t
 take any measures to avoid it
due to
 the right that companies have which is to show their products and services to the projected consumers. Rather must be the community who have the means to protect themselves who take measures to avoid manipulation.
Firstly
, advertisements aim to make people buy a product or service sometimes even if they don'
t
 need it.
Such
 as the jackets on sale in the summer.
therefore
 people should be aware of these adverts even though some take advantage of
this
 practice and only buy their things in outlets.
Besides
 that, Families should protect children from manipulation.
This
 can be done by teaching them that advertisements sometimes are exaggerated in order to have a bigger influence on people.
For instance
, all toy adverts are filled with unreal powers and features
such
 as Spiderman, Flash and so on that kids have the tendency to believe but they aren'
t
 real.
On the other hand
, with streaming channels like Netflix, Amazon, YouTube and Apple TV, you pay for membership in order to avoid any kind of advertisement
this
 way community who have enough money is protected from propaganda.
To conclude
, Advertisement is natural, and even more, it is a right companies have.
Therefore
 it couldn'
t
 be banned but families can protect themselves by performing some preventive activities that could help them to make good decisions without any manipulation.
Submitted by otiyog on

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task achievement
Good job identifying the influence of advertisements on consumer behavior. However, you could elaborate more on specific measures that communities can take to protect themselves from manipulation.
coherence cohesion
You have relevant examples, but you can improve clarity and coherence by making your points more thoroughly. Always aim to expand your arguments for better comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Present your ideas in a more logical structure. For example, clearly separate discussion about the influence of advertisements and methods to protect consumers into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the influence of advertisements and possible protective measures, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are effective in setting the stage for your argument and summarizing your main points.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples, such as toy commercials, which strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising campaign
  • celebrity endorsement
  • psychological manipulation
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertisement
  • digital marketing
  • social proof
  • peer review
  • consumer trust
  • brand loyalty
  • misleading advertisement
  • government regulation
  • consumer protection
  • media literacy
  • ad-blocker
  • privacy settings
  • informed choice
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • consumer awareness
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