IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People nowadays think that it is better to demolish old
buildings
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 and build new ones
instead
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. Because it will cost a lot of money to repair old
buildings
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 than construct the new
buildings
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. In
this
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 case, I partly disagree with the following statement. For some reason, destroying the old building will destroy the history of the
area
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 and the building itself.
For instance
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, the construction in the Asia-Africa
area
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 was different than in the other areas. So that the
buildings
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 in the
area
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 are being maintained and restored.
Thus
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, the visitor will remember the history of that
area
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. Another opinion is related to the architectural value of the old
buildings
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, which had different styles from
buildings
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 nowadays.
This
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 will attract visitors to spend their day in a unique
area
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 and learn the historical story of the
area
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 they visited.
On the other hand
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,
due to
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 the rapidly increasing population, the
area
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 for constructing the new
buildings
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 was limited.
Furthermore
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, the cost of building new areas for living is cheaper than restoring the old areas, especially for very old
buildings
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, especially if there was no architectural or historical value from those
buildings
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. So, there is a reasonable reason to destroy and spend too much money to renovate the old
buildings
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 than build the new ones. In conclusion, it is worth spending money on only those
buildings
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 that have value in matters of architecture, history, and culture. Personally, I agree with saving part of the old
buildings
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 and establishing modern ones for a living.

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task achievement
Consider having a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your position on the topic. This will provide a roadmap for the reader and enhance task response.
task achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly by expanding on each idea with more detailed explanations, evidence, or examples to strengthen task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and transitions to enhance logical flow and coherence between sentences and paragraphs. This will also improve reader comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your conclusion restates your position clearly and summarizes the main points from the body paragraphs to reinforce your argument and the coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Preservation
  • Restoration
  • Demolition
  • Architectural heritage
  • Cultural significance
  • Tourist attraction
  • Urban landscape
  • Sustainability
  • Conservation
  • Economic benefits
  • Historical landmarks
  • Urban renewal
  • Infrastructure
  • Maintenance costs
  • Modern amenities
  • Building regulations
  • Community identity
  • Heritage conservation
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