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Band 6

Today, many people do not know their neighbors. Why is this? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbors
Nowadays, the most significant
people
 do not have relations with their
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 who live near them.
this
 essay will discuss the main problems of
this
 phenomenon and examine some possible solutions. The first one is about modernization.
It is clear that
 urban life affects directly
knowing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
neighbours. These days most
people
 live in skyscraper buildings which contain lots of
people
 who live there,
for example
,
people
when go out of their house
Add the comma(s)
, when go out of their house,
show examples
 put lifting and they get into their personal car, so they do not see anybody.
Moreover
,
people
 spend a lot of
time
 at their workplace, they are so busy and when they arrive home, it is night. They would rather relax and chill out in front of the TV to introduce
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
 neighbours. There are a lot of solutions that
people
 can use to know their neighbours. One of them is about setting
time
 to gather
together with
 them,
for example
, it would be a rule that 2 times in month every person who lives in an apartment gathers at the main hall of the building and talks about offers that improve their building.
This
 trend causes them to introduce together.
In addition
,
people
 can invite adjacent to their house for dinner, they can talk about their personality, family, talents and nationalities, so they can spend their free
time
 with together and sometimes when they want to go travel, help from adjacent care of their home from stolen.
To sum up
, modernization and
also
 being busy influence of relation between residents of a place or building.
People
 should have
time
 each month to meet and talk about their building and
also
 invite those adjacent to their house for more introduction.
Submitted by mellika.sadeghi1 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to use transitional words and phrases to create smoother connections between ideas. This will enhance the logical flow and clarity of your essay.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and then support that idea with examples or explanations. This can help to organize your thoughts more clearly and support them with evidence.
supported main points
Be careful with redundancy and explicitly state how each example relates to the point it is supporting.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a solid framework for discussion.
complete response
You have addressed both parts of the task by discussing the reasons and possible solutions for the issue.
relevant specific examples
Good use of real-world examples, such as the mention of modern urban living, which helps maintain relevance throughout the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community engagement
  • social isolation
  • neighborhood watch
  • local initiatives
  • virtual interaction
  • privacy concerns
  • resident mobility
  • technological advancements
  • social media influence
  • work-life balance
  • busy personal schedules
  • community events
  • local residents
  • social interaction
  • community ties
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