Young people spend less of their free time with their family nowadays. What are the reasons for this? Are there more negative or positive sides to this trend?
These days, more and more teenagers diminish their spare wrong group for
time
to assemble together with
their families. This
issue has several negative impacts on the family relationship which I discuss here.
Perhaps, the one major reason for this
issue is that youth generations have full schedules in Correct article usage
apply
the
school. As we know, there are many student activities in Correct article usage
apply
this
era and those must be completed based on the schedule such
as daily task
or extracelluler from the school. Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
Therefore
, they must use their spare time
to solve this
. In addition
, digitizing
era makes young people more Correct article usage
the digitizing
interest
Replace the word
interested
to play
social media than Change preposition
in playing
go
Wrong verb form
going
together with
family. It is because social media can give a
entertainment and divert Remove the article
apply
a
boredom for them.
Remove the article
apply
For example
, children spend time
by
playing games, scrolling Change preposition
apply
Tiktok
or Instagram and chatting on WhatsApp. Correct your spelling
TikTok
Lastly
, children feel happier hang
out with their Wrong verb form
hanging
friend
than with their families. It is because teenagers have the same opinion Fix the agreement mistake
friends
with
their friends Change preposition
as
than
Correct word choice
and
parents
. As the
result, students prefer sharing with their communities than Correct article usage
a
stay
at home.
Wrong verb form
staying
On the other hand
, the negative impact for
Change preposition
of
this
issue is that chidren
have bad communication with their Correct your spelling
children
parents
. It is because between
Change preposition
apply
parents
and young people do
not close Verb problem
are
each
other. Change preposition
to each
As a consequence
, when parents
say
Verb problem
give
a advice
, teenagers tend to contra it.
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
Moreover
,Change the article
the
young
Correct article usage
the young
genaration
is caused by spending less Correct your spelling
generation
time
with family. There many
criminal communities which always offer Add a missing verb
are many
workteam
in young Correct your spelling
work teams
genaration
groups. Correct your spelling
generation
For instance
, theft, drunk
and gambling.
In conclusion, it Replace the word
drinking
seem
to me that spending less free Change the verb form
seems
time
with family is
a negative impact which happens Verb problem
has
due to
children
Change noun form
children's
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
is
full and Wrong verb form
being
digitizing
era which Correct article usage
the digitizing
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
have
wrong communities and bad communication Add the particle
to have
to
their Change preposition
with
parents
.Submitted by k a l l a on
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vocabulary
Try to improve your vocabulary and use a wider range of words. Consider varying your sentence structures and using more complex sentences where appropriate.
structure
Ensure that your essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a single focus and smoothly transition to the next point.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples or more detailed scenarios can strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided reasons for why young people spend less time with their families as well as discussed the negative impacts of this trend.
structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easier to follow your argument.
reasons
You have identified several relevant points such as the impact of school schedules, social media, and peer relationships on family interactions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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