Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.
It is often argued that competition at
work
or school and in daily life
brings positive result
as a motivating instrument, Fix the agreement mistake
results
while
others reckon that cooperation to achieve collective goal
is a better alternative. Fix the agreement mistake
goals
This
essay will therefore
discuss boths
perspectives with my perspective that both aspects are equally vital.
Correct your spelling
both
To begin
with, being competitve
can drive innovation, motivation, and productivity. Correct your spelling
competitive
In other words
, as employees
, competition at work
and in daily life
encourages individuals to improve their skills
in order to excel and outperform their peers. Subsequently
, it stimulates individuals to make the most of their opportunities, create advanced work
results, and eventually recieve
better career prospects. Correct your spelling
receive
Similarly
, competing at school strives pupils
to achieve higher academic standards and Change preposition
for pupils
develops
a strong Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
work
ethic. For instance
, a top-tier school with a strong competitive atmosphere
contributes
Verb problem
encourages
students
to stay ambitious, allowing the
Correct pronoun usage
them
students
to enter into a remarkable higher education. Therefore
, competing is considered a paramount tool to advance indivduals'
Correct your spelling
individuals'
skills
and quality of life
.
On the contrary
, it is inevitable that cooperation at work
fosters a supportive and harmonious relationship, buiding
a sense of community. To specify, collaboration nurtures a positive Correct your spelling
building
work
and study atmosphere
, where employees
or students
share knowledge and skills
to accomplish collective goals, which reduces unhealthy rivalries, negative impact relationships, work
stress, and employees
' anxiety. Additionally
, by a
nature of collective Correct article usage
the
works
, Fix the agreement mistake
work
students
and employees
can develop their social and communication skills
, particularly a teamwork skill, being
Unnecessary verb
apply
patient
, and Replace the word
patience
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
considerated
. Correct your spelling
consideration
For example
, students
can adapt themselves with
other teammates, pushing them to be more versatile and Change preposition
to
be
more prepared to live in society through collaborative Unnecessary verb
apply
learnings
or group Fix the agreement mistake
learning
works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Thus
, without harmony and collaboration, a common goal and our society may not be inefficient
.
In conclusion, competition brings a motivating Correct your spelling
efficient
atmosphere
, resulting in social improvement in a
sense of Correct article usage
the
quality
of Add an article
the quality
life
of people, while
collaborating leads to positive
Add an article
a positive
atmosphere
, bettering healthy social relationships. As both views play Correct article usage
an equally
equally
role in creating positive impacts Change the adverb
equal
to
our community, I strongly believe that citizens should dedicate Change preposition
on
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
fulfill
both aspects as equal to Replace the word
fulfilling
another
.Correct pronoun usage
one another
Submitted by kaofangsuknual on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear and comprehensive response to the task, but some of the ideas could be more fully developed. Try to include more specific examples and explain your points in greater detail.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured overall, there are some areas where the flow could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you use linking words effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly outline what will be discussed, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points.
task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task by discussing both perspectives and providing your own opinion, which makes for a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
Your main points are generally well-supported with explanations and examples, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical and structured approach, making it easy to follow your arguments.