People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Societies in most advanced countries adhere
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
culture of consumption. The indispensable attribute of
such
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model
Correct article usage
a model
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of development is
advertisement
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. The opinions about one have divided, some
people
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believe that it has the positive effects for
common
Add an article
the common
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welfare, others consider
Use synonyms
advertisement
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
as a harmful part of our economy. We will discuss both points of view and my opinion will mentioned
at the end
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of
this
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essay.
To begin
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with the positive arguments. Once Ludwig Metzel said: "
Advertisement
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is the engine of trade",
this
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great quote doesn't lose its actuality in our days. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
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useful instrument for promoting miscellaneous commodities. Consumers cannot know about a big choice of goods in the market without
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. The next positive argument is a profit for companies posting
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
. It is a serious incentive for working some free products.
For example
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, most information products
such
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as mobile games, educational applications, and many websites.
Nevertheless
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, the substantial downsides exist. Not all companies have much money for
advertisement
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hence
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it is a method for promotion of large corporations first of all.
Therefore
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the market inequality becomes more distinct.
Moreover
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,
advertisement
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exerts
the
Correct article usage
a
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negative impact on some
people
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. If it isn't
target
Wrong verb form
targeted
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,
people
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can be don't
interest
Replace the word
interested
show examples
a
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in a
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purchase of the product
thus
Linking Words
people
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can be nervous, tetchy and discontent.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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the distracting
advertisement
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is the cause of the bad mental state. In conclusion, I believe that
advertisement
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is a good thing, even for small enterprises, but I think that it should be
target
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targeted
show examples
and
moderate
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moderately
show examples
appealing.

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully supported with clear, relevant examples. For instance, expand on how advertisements benefit companies or affect consumers negatively.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing smooth transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Use linking words like 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'Conversely' more effectively.
general
Some of the sentence structures are awkward, and there are minor grammatical errors. Try to proofread carefully or seek feedback to improve grammatical accuracy and fluency.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the debate and indicates that both sides will be discussed, which is a good strategy.
complete response
You've successfully presented both positive and negative arguments about advertisements, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and provides a balanced perspective on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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