In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Medical care over the past century has improved significantly, enabling
people
to overcome diseases that were once incurable. As a result
, people
's lifespans are increasing globally. Not only medicine has improved since the last
century, but also
life
standards, quality and duration of life
. The benefits of this
progress far outweigh the drawbacks.
One obvious issue with an ageing population is that socioeconomic factors are becoming more unstable,
because it is a fact that the elders’ health will only worsen as they advance in age year by year. Remove the comma
apply
This
necessitates extra caregivers, proper medical care and other life
-saving resources. To make things even worse when these people
still work and occupy potential jobs in organizations, they make it more difficult for the new generation to get a job based on their higher degree.
While
there are challenges associated with an ageing population, one significant benefit is that people
have more opportunities in their lives as they live longer. Consequently
, the mental health of people
is also
improving a lot. By this
I mean that all over the world people
are becoming kinder, more responsible and friendlier to each other. For example
, long life
spans allow people
to reach more personal, social and professional goals throughout their lives. So, elders also
could try themselves new and even turn their dreams into reality.
Weighing up both sides of the argument again, it is absolutely true that increased life
expectancy has a lot of advantages. The ability of a person to live longer in a kind and comfortable society with excellent medicine, with the opportunity to try everything, is wonderful.Submitted by aakbarov2010 on
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task achievement
While the essay does introduce and conclude the topic well, some points could benefit from more detailed supporting examples. For instance, when discussing the strain on socioeconomic factors, more specific statistics or situations could be referenced.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are clearly connected. The transition between the second paragraph discussing the challenges of an ageing population and the third paragraph regarding the benefits could be smoother. Linking phrases could enhance the flow.
task achievement
It's crucial to strike a balance between advantages and disadvantages. The essay slightly leans more towards the benefits of increased life expectancy. While it's positive to express an opinion, providing a more balanced discussion would be beneficial.
task achievement
The introduction is clear and sets out the topic well. It offers a good context for discussing both the improvements in medical care and the resultant increase in life expectancy.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This aids in readability and understanding.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed and reinforces the writer's opinion, which leaves a strong impression on the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.