Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that teenagers must continue full-

time

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study

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until they become 18 years old. I agree with

this

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statement because they are going to become the backbone of the nation. Under 18 they are not mature enough to make independent decisions about their career.

This

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essay will discuss why full-

time

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education is important before they become adults.

Firstly

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, the main reason is that education opens better career doors for everyone and student have more opportunities to go for higher studies

due to

Linking Words

their age.

For example

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, if a student wants to become a doctor or an engineer , he has to complete year 12 and

further

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, he can join these courses, if he does not complete full-

time

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time

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study

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he may not get admission in these types of professions. Another factor is that less than 18, students are not mature enough and it becomes very difficult to make the right decisions about their future.

As a result

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, students must

study

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full

time

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until they pass year 12 from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

school, so they can choose higher studies.

Secondly

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, full-

time

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time

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always keeps students in a flow and up-to-date with their courses in any case if they start part-

time

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time

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and start earning money, they will be attracted towards bad habits because they have money but do not have an understanding of the management of their finances. Another factor is that part-

time

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time

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or unfinished

study

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before 18, they may not be able to rejoin

study

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again

due to

Linking Words

the out of touch and need more revisions to catch up.

For example

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, sometimes teenagers who are less than 18 are involved in crimes, that recently happened in Australia a teenager was misguided by bad people and stabbed a priest in the church. In conclusion, for a country's growth and social behaviour, people must complete their studies before they turn 18 because no one knows if any student will become an officer or politician.

Further

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, they can contribute to the nation's economy.

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coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetitive language and redundancy. For instance, using 'full-time time' is not correct and should be corrected to 'full-time education'. This will improve the clarity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Provide a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each point. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Use more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate higher proficiency. This can also help to avoid the repetition of simple sentence patterns.

task achievement

Ensure your examples are directly relevant to the points being made. For example, the example about a teenager involved in crime could be more directly related to the point about the importance of full-time education.

task achievement

You presented a clear opinion and maintained it throughout the essay, which is crucial for a task response.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a clear structure to your piece.

task achievement

You provided specific examples to support your points. This enriches your argument and shows practical implications.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live alone. Others enjoy sharing a house with family or friends. Do the advantages of living with others outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.