Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that teenagers must continue full-
time
study
until they become 18 years old. I agree with this
statement because they are going to become the backbone of the nation. Under 18 they are not mature enough to make independent decisions about their career. This
essay will discuss why full-time
education is important before they become adults.
Firstly
, the main reason is that education opens better career doors for everyone and student have more opportunities to go for higher studies due to
their age. For example
, if a student wants to become a doctor or an engineer , he has to complete year 12 and further
, he can join these courses, if he does not complete full-time
time
study
he may not get admission in these types of professions. Another factor is that less than 18, students are not mature enough and it becomes very difficult to make the right decisions about their future. As a result
, students must study
full time
until they pass year 12 from the
school, so they can choose higher studies.
Correct article usage
apply
Secondly
, full-time
time
always keeps students in a flow and up-to-date with their courses in any case if they start part-time
time
and start earning money, they will be attracted towards bad habits because they have money but do not have an understanding of the management of their finances. Another factor is that part-time
time
or unfinished study
before 18, they may not be able to rejoin study
again due to
the out of touch and need more revisions to catch up. For example
, sometimes teenagers who are less than 18 are involved in crimes, that recently happened in Australia a teenager was misguided by bad people and stabbed a priest in the church.
In conclusion, for a country's growth and social behaviour, people must complete their studies before they turn 18 because no one knows if any student will become an officer or politician.Further
, they can contribute to the nation's economy.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive language and redundancy. For instance, using 'full-time time' is not correct and should be corrected to 'full-time education'. This will improve the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each point. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Use more varied and complex sentence structures to demonstrate higher proficiency. This can also help to avoid the repetition of simple sentence patterns.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are directly relevant to the points being made. For example, the example about a teenager involved in crime could be more directly related to the point about the importance of full-time education.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion and maintained it throughout the essay, which is crucial for a task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a clear structure to your piece.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points. This enriches your argument and shows practical implications.