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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #parents #children #schools #people #life
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Nowadays, parents are deciding to send their
children
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 to single-gender
schools
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. Some people argue that
children
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 sent to
such
Linking Words
schools
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 will encounter difficulties in later life. I believe to some extent that
children
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 will not develop hardships in the future if they go to same
sex
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schools
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. A major advantage of
children
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 going to
gender specific
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gender-specific
show examples
schools
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 is that it eliminates competition between boys and girls. It can be quite difficult for girls to thrive and learn in environments occupied by boisterous and rowdy boys.
For instance
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, studies have shown that girls do far better academically compared to boys when in
single-
Correct your spelling
single-sex
show examples
sex
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 institutions.
This
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 shows a clear benefit of sending
children
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 to gender-specific
schools
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 because they will be able to learn and excel without pressure from the opposite
sex
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.
This
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 would mean that they will be better prepared and equipped with all the necessary skills they need in later life. Lack of diversity is a major drawback in sending
children
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 to gender-specific
schools
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. It would be very difficult for
children
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 to learn how to engage and communicate with the opposite
sex
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.
This
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 would be detrimental in the future once they start working in professional jobs.
For example
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, studies have shown that adults who went to same-gender
schools
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 found it quite difficult to adapt and engage with the opposite
sex
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 in the first 6 months of working.
This
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 demonstrates the difficulties that
children
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 will face in the future if they are not exposed to the other gender.
To conclude
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, I believe that there are both benefits and drawbacks
of
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to
show examples
 sending
children
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 to single-
sex
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schools
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.
Children
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 will thrive in gender-specific institutions, but there is the possibility of not learning how to engage with the opposite
sex
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 in professional settings.
Submitted by mraha409 on

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task achievement
The essay provides an adequate response to the task, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of single-sex schools. However, for a higher score, you should aim to delve deeper into each point and explore them more thoroughly.
task achievement
Ensure that every argument is fully developed with clear and extended examples or explanations. This will add more depth and clarity to your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is logically structured and easy to follow, it can benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Try to use more varied linking phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Adding more specific detail to your main points can enhance the essay's coherence. Make sure to connect each example and explanation directly to the main argument to maintain a strong thread throughout.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
Main points are mostly supported with relevant examples and evidence, which bolsters the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logically sound, making it easy to follow the writer’s line of thought.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • social interaction
  • real-world preparation
  • gender stereotypes
  • academic performance
  • healthy competition
  • personal and professional settings
  • reinforce
  • collaborate
  • representative environment
  • promote gender equality
  • break down stereotypes
  • social pressures
  • academic concentration
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