In general, people are living longer now. Which of the following do you think accounts for this phenomenon? •Technological improvements •Changes to education systems •Improvements to our diets Use specific details and examples in your answer. You may choose more than one cause.

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These days, people's
life
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expectancy
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is longer than in previous eras
due to
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the development of the selection of food intake
along with
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a quality of
education
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.
This
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essay will discuss it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
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with, the
populations'
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population's
show examples
life
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expectancy
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is longer
in
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apply
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these days.
This
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is because the medical field has been improving and all
diseases
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have been cured, especially the deadly
diseases
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because of the quality of
education
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.
For example
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, HIV and Cancer are deadly
diseases
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but our researchers and scientists have found medicines to expand the population's
life
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.
Hence
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, a normal person can live more than sixty years of
life
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because of the changes and integrity of
education
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.
Furthermore
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, numerous people have more concern towards their foodstuffs without adding
fat based
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fat-based
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foods.
This
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is, a proper
diet
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bring
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brings
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a healthy lifestyle in order to the individuals stay far away from any chronic illnesses like
diabetic
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diabetes
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, heart stroke, heart attack and cancer.
For instance
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, nutrients
are
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apply
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usually live a long year on the grounds they must practice a
diet
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chart and they do not eat carbs based on cuisines. Needless to say, following a proper
diet
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can help to prevention of affecting any illness and live a long year. In conclusion, the public's
life
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expectancy
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has been improving the two major reasons; the quality of
education
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provides the medicine
of
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for
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the deadly
diseases
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as well
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as
Correct word choice
and
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following an adequate
diet
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assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
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to
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in
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having a healthy
life
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,
therefore
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, people's
life
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expectancy
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is longer years.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Try to add more specific examples to support your points. Detailed examples can make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to create smooth transitions.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively present the main idea of the essay.
complete response
You have addressed the task appropriately and provided relevant points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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