Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Worldwide governments must manage properly the monetary resources in all
fields
. Many people argue that the most important topic in
which governors should focus Change preposition
on
on
is the healthcare system, Change preposition
apply
nevertheless
, I staunchly consider that although
the health field is vital in the development of societies, money have
to be equally distributed. In Change the verb form
has
this
essay, I will discuss both sides,
and explain my reasons in detail.
To start with, it is Remove the comma
apply
well-kwon
that people have to be Correct your spelling
well-known
health
in order to be able to Replace the word
healthy
performe
other tasks, Correct your spelling
perform
then
disease prevention as well as
health promotion are crucial to guarantee quality of life in humankind. Then
, most countries are spending on campaigns to improve lifestyles and drop the everincreasing
incidence of chronic diseases, Correct your spelling
ever-increasing
ever increasing
such
as primary hypertension, diabetes, heart attack, etc. Additionally
, many other policies have been taken into account to prevent the spread of contagious illnesses. This
is exemplified by the COVID-19 vaccination's
campaigns which were Change noun form
vaccination
perfomed
resulting in a reduction of the mortality and morbidity related to Correct your spelling
performed
this
disease.
Conversely
, many other topics have to be take
into consideration, namely education, security, and environment. Change the verb form
be taken
This
means that governors have to mantain
a balance among all Correct your spelling
maintain
fields
in order to generate an integral development. Otherwise
, if there is no a
proportional distribution, people who belong to the Correct article usage
apply
fields
that recieve
less support might suffer from scarcity and Correct your spelling
receive
received
proverty
. Correct your spelling
poverty
For instance
, in Colombia most resources have been spend
on the environment, Change the form of the verb
spent
nonetheless
, the perfomance
of students in schools has Correct your spelling
performance
plummetted
and the population have no security because the rate of crimes committed every day has rocketed. The aforementioned points Correct your spelling
plummeted
explained
by the lack of opportunities.
Add a missing verb
are explained
To sum up
, the healthcare system should be considered one of the main fields
to be spend
on. Change the verb form
be spent
However
, there are many other social issues that also
has
to be taken into account and equally supported by the government.Change the verb form
have
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You can do this by using linking words and phrases more effectively.
task achievement
In task achievement, try to elaborate further on your ideas, using more detailed explanations and examples.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and comprehension. For instance, 'money have to be equally distributed' should be 'money has to be equally distributed'.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your essay.
complete response
You have addressed both viewpoints, which is key to achieving a complete response.