Some people believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Museums
fulfill
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fulfil
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different things for different
people
. On the one hand, many
people
feel a museum's primary purpose is to entertain.
However
, others think their
functions
Fix the agreement mistake
function
show examples
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
foster understanding. Both arguments will be analysed before a conclusion is declared. On the one hand, some individuals believe visiting
museums
is only for amusement. Take
art
museums
for example
. Every country has
art
museums
that show local and traditional
art
. Most of these types of
museums
are
places
where
people
would like to spend their leisure time. They are located near parks or shopping malls to attract
people
's attention. They
also
have tour guides who can entertainingly explain information and make the atmosphere more pleasant.
In addition
, some facilities like discounts make
museums
cheap and an excellent place to spend time.
Thus
, it is vividly understandable why
museums
are considered a place for amusement from
this
group's perspective.
On the other hand
, others believe that
museums
should only be used for education. As in the previous paragraph, consider
art
museums
. They are among the best resources for
art
students and professors to research
art
and history. They
also
have a library consisting of old books and pictures. In
this
situation,
museums
should be peaceful
places
to prepare the best atmosphere for research.
In contrast
, if they are considered entertaining
places
, keeping them as one of the most suitable
places
for researchers would be challenging.
Therefore
, it explains why keeping
museums
only for education is essential. In summary, there have always been different views regarding the purpose of
museums
as academic or entertaining
places
. I fully support the second perspective.
Museums
should make the best timeline to serve both types of
people
since knowing about our history is necessary.
Submitted by axel00lee on

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language
Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of saying 'make the atmosphere more pleasant,' you could say 'enhance the ambiance.'
evidence
Aim to provide more in-depth examples. For example, mentioning specific art pieces or historical periods discussed in museums could make your arguments stronger.
coherence
Work on transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Phrases like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' could be useful.
content
The essay does a great job of presenting both sides of the argument clearly.
structure
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and presents your opinion in a clear manner.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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