Some people believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Museums
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fulfill
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fulfil
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different things for different
people
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. On the one hand, many
people
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feel a museum's primary purpose is to entertain.
However
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, others think their
functions
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function
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to
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is to
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foster understanding. Both arguments will be analysed before a conclusion is declared. On the one hand, some individuals believe visiting
museums
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is only for amusement. Take
art
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museums
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for example
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. Every country has
art
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museums
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that show local and traditional
art
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. Most of these types of
museums
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are
places
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where
people
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would like to spend their leisure time. They are located near parks or shopping malls to attract
people
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's attention. They
also
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have tour guides who can entertainingly explain information and make the atmosphere more pleasant.
In addition
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, some facilities like discounts make
museums
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cheap and an excellent place to spend time.
Thus
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, it is vividly understandable why
museums
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are considered a place for amusement from
this
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group's perspective.
On the other hand
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, others believe that
museums
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should only be used for education. As in the previous paragraph, consider
art
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museums
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. They are among the best resources for
art
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students and professors to research
art
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and history. They
also
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have a library consisting of old books and pictures. In
this
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situation,
museums
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should be peaceful
places
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to prepare the best atmosphere for research.
In contrast
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, if they are considered entertaining
places
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, keeping them as one of the most suitable
places
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for researchers would be challenging.
Therefore
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, it explains why keeping
museums
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only for education is essential. In summary, there have always been different views regarding the purpose of
museums
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as academic or entertaining
places
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. I fully support the second perspective.
Museums
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should make the best timeline to serve both types of
people
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since knowing about our history is necessary.
Submitted by axel00lee on

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language
Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary. For instance, instead of saying 'make the atmosphere more pleasant,' you could say 'enhance the ambiance.'
evidence
Aim to provide more in-depth examples. For example, mentioning specific art pieces or historical periods discussed in museums could make your arguments stronger.
coherence
Work on transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas. Phrases like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' could be useful.
content
The essay does a great job of presenting both sides of the argument clearly.
structure
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations.
conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and presents your opinion in a clear manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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