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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Students who are given grades work harder than those who do not. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#students #grades #work #support
Grading is the classification of something on a scale by quality, rank, size or progression. grading has an effect on
student
 learning
whiles
Replace the word
while
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on the other hand
 it discourages them. Grading a
student
 helps the pupil to improve.
Firstly
 it makes the
student
 work harder , in the sense that that they would want to get a grade higher in their next one.
In
Addition
Add a comma
Addition,
show examples
 it promotes
compitition amongs
Correct your spelling
competition among
 the
student
 in a good way.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 when grades are given it shows the highest to the lowest and because no one wants to get the lowest grade it motivates the students to work hard to get higher marks.
On the other hand
, when
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are not graded it
doesnt necessarly
Correct your spelling
doesn't necessarily
means
Correct subject-verb agreement
mean
show examples
 they
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 work harder. Most important is that the
student
undersatand
Correct your spelling
understand
understands
 what their learning. Others believe grading pupils brings division between the students.
However
 not grading Pupils for their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 make them competitive
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enough which
also
 helps later in life.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when a
student
 is not graded the pupil will not feel the urge to study since he or she is not being graded. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 believe that the grading of students helps them and urges them to learn more , since they will want to get higher grades.
Submitted by keziahboye58 on

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task achievement
Ensure there are no grammatical mistakes or typographical errors in your writing. For instance, 'whiles' should be 'while' and 'undersatand' should be 'understand'.
task achievement
Your introduction can be more compelling to grab the reader's attention. Try to state clearly whether you agree or disagree with the topic in the opening.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between ideas to enhance the flow of the essay. For example, using words such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'However' more strategically.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your main points. Generic statements can weaken your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to discussing the topic.
coherence cohesion
The concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your stance on the topic, bringing the essay to a thoughtful close.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible goals
  • measurable target
  • concrete sense of achievement
  • feedback mechanism
  • strengths and weaknesses
  • competition
  • incentive
  • outperform
  • scholarships
  • future opportunities
  • self-esteem
  • personal satisfaction
  • external pressure
  • societal expectations
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