Many young people now know more about international pop and movie stars than famous people in the history of their countries. What are the causes? Give solutions to increase the number of people to know about famous people in history

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Nowadays, a lot of young
people
have a better
knowledge
related to international
actor
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actors
show examples
or
actress
Fix the agreement mistake
actresses
show examples
rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
famous
individual
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individuals
show examples
from their
countries
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country's
countries'
show examples
history
. In my opinion,
it is clear that
this
phenomenon has continually
happen
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happened
show examples
because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
myriads reason
Fix the agreement mistake
myriad reasons
show examples
, but two main factors would be the advancement of technology and lack of patriotism
feeling
Verb problem
apply
show examples
among youngsters.
In addition
, two ways that can be used to overcome
this
problem are adding the number of
hour
Change to a plural noun
hours
show examples
of
history related
Add a hyphen
history-related
show examples
subjects in school,
as well as
utilizing mass media
such
as TV to make a trivia
program
regarding
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
of their
country
, which will be
further
elaborate on the following paragraphs. The advancement of technology that
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened several decades ago has
influent
Correct your spelling
influenced
show examples
our younger generations as a high-tech-literated individual.
For example
, many young
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
have a great capability of using handphone, laptop, and
also
internet
. The
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
of
things
Capitalize word
Things
show examples
has
play
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played
show examples
a significant role
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
them, particularly
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
knowing what
happen
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happens
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overseas,
such
as knowing the
new comer
Correct your spelling
newcomer
show examples
actresses or actors, their achievements in
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
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industry, and even their
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
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or private lives.
This
phenomenon has
happen
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happened
show examples
because of
internet
can bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
news to other countries,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
particularly young
individual
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individuals
show examples
.
In addition
,
a
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apply
show examples
research has shown that
generally
Add a comma
generally,
show examples
youngsters
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lack
of
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apply
show examples
patriotism feeling. Particularly in Indonesia, they do not even know who is the founding father of the
country
, and many cannot mention the five
principle
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principles
show examples
of the
country
. To overcome
this
matter, I strongly believe that adding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
portion of
history related
Add a hyphen
history-related
show examples
subjects in school could work well.
By knowing
Change preposition
Knowing
show examples
the roots of the
country
, the origin, and what has happened in the past could retain the negative impact of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
such
as
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, so that young
people
have a great balance of
knowledge
between
history
Add an article
the history
a history
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of the
country
, and what is happening right now around the globe.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the government could
also
regulate some rules regarding television
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
.
For instance
, each
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
station should have a
program
related to
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
of the
country
in
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apply
show examples
every week, not just
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
certain
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
such
as
independence day
Correct your spelling
Independence Day
show examples
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adding
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
portion of
history related
Add a hyphen
history-related
show examples
subjects in school and
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
the young generations additional information from television
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
could tackle the phenomena related to young
people
Change noun form
people's
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knowledge
about famous
people
from their
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
history
, and
balancing
Wrong verb form
balance
show examples
the
knowledge
to know what is happening around the world today.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay. Ensure the introduction clearly states your main argument.
supported main points
The points made are well-supported. Try to integrate more detailed, specific examples to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed. Discuss more about how each solution you propose would effectively increase interest in historical figures.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are mostly clear and comprehensive. Be careful of small grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can confuse the reader.
logical structure
Logical structure is generally clear, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Maintain coherence by clearly linking ideas within and between paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
You made good use of specific examples and relevant explanations to support your points.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.
supported main points
Main points are consistently supported with arguments and examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

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  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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