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Writing Samples
Band 7

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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It is argued by some that the cheap airline
tickets
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, which allow
people
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 to
travel
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 worldwide is a good trend, whilst others believe it is a negative. Inexpensive
tickets
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 may provide an opportunity for
people
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 to explore different nations and expand their social network.
Nevertheless
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, the excessive number of travellers might cause to enlargement of litter in any corner of the country, contributing to the destruction of nature. On the one hand, low-cost
tickets
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 may give an opportunity for a number of
people
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 to
travel
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 around the globe.
That is
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 to say, the
tickets
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 might be affordable to everyone, especially lower-status individuals who could dream it.
Also
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, despite the vacations in the native country, that used to be planned, now
people
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 can be given an opportunity to
travel
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 abroad, exploring cultures.
For instance
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, the Aviasales, airline company provides as many cheap
tickets
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 as possible in Kazakhstan.
Furthermore
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, travellers can expand their social network by making international friends. All these possibilities can develop
people
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’s outlook on the World, which I believe can be a positive development.
On the other hand
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, it might bring more international
people
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 with different manners, either law-abiding or worse.
In other words
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, these
people
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 can behave negatively towards the environment, namely by littering. To illustrate, the French parliament estimated the total amount of garbage over the few years and claimed that there has been more garbage than in the
last
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 years,
due to
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 the number of tourists. Currently, states are looking forward to the solutions, restricting some popular avia companies, and recommending cheap
tickets
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. In conclusion,
although
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 increased accessibility is an equitable development, it has
also
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 contributed to issues of overcrowding and over-tourism. The aviation industry and governments need to collaborate to address these negative impacts
while
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 continuing to make
travel
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 available to a broader range of residents

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task achievement
Overall, your essay meets the task requirements and answers the question thoroughly. To improve your Task Achievement, provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, try to make transitions between points smoother for greater coherence. Additionally, focus on ensuring that each paragraph develops one main idea clearly.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument.
logical structure
You've made good use of introductory and concluding sentences, which helps in giving the essay a coherent structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Affordability
  • Global mobility
  • Convenience
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic benefits
  • Cultural exchange
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Drawbacks
  • Sustainable travel
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