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Band 7.5

The plans below show harbour in 2000 and how it looks today

#plans #show #harbour
The map provides information about the development of the seaport over a 20-year period from 2000 to 2024.
Overall
, there have been significant transformations in several facilities for visitors,
such
 as an increase in the number of docks, the construction of shopping areas, the addition of showers and toilets, and the replacement of several other places.
To begin
 with, in 2000, there was only one
road
 leading from the main
road
 to the harbour. On the right side, there were showers and toilets
as well as
 a car park, which have remained unchanged until now. In 2024, the marina (private yacht) and the fishing boat areas switched places. Heading east, there was one dock in the northern area, allowing only two boats to anchor at the same time. Beside it, there was a public beach which remains in the same condition today. In the southern area, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 a car park, an unused castle, and public beaches. In 2024, several developments occurred in the southeastern area of the harbour. A hotel was built, renovating the castle and providing a private beach for the guests on the left side of the hotel.
Additionally
, a new
road
 was constructed to provide access to the hotel, and the
road
 leading to the car park was rerouted from the main
road
. Opposite
this
 small
road
, new shopping and food court areas were developed.
Furthermore
, additional toilets and showers were installed to meet passengers' needs.
Finally
, a new dock was built in the southern corner to accommodate an increased number of ferries anchoring at the harbour.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task response
Your essay is generally well-structured, but the introduction could mention more aspects that changed in addition to the facilities for visitors. This will add more clarity and make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to clearly differentiate between facilities that remained unchanged and those that were newly developed. This will enhance the coherence and readability of your essay.
task response
Your essay includes a clear comparison of the changes between 2000 and 2024, demonstrating a strong understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The paragraphs are logically structured and facilitate the understanding of the developments in the harbour area.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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