There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there are various courses for
students
to study in the school.
However
,
students
cannot choose
subjects
that are suitable for themselves. They have to follow the syllabus which was provided.
Hence
, there are arguments on the appropriation of those planned schedules. Some people may want to study only academic
subjects
such
as mathematics and sciences and remove all non-academic
subjects
.
This
essay will elaborate on reasons why I disagree that
students
should learn only academic
subjects
.
First,
studying non-academic
subjects
such
as sports and cooking is
also
essential for young people. If they learn those things, they can better manage their life.
For example
, sports provide a lot of health benefits to players. It creates good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
children. They will get familiar with workout routines. Cooking can help teenagers live on their own. They can save money from dining in restaurants.
Second,
it is not guaranteed that studying mathematics and science will help you to achieve your goal. The student should select
subjects
from their interests and abilities.
For instance
, some
students
may not know that they are good at singing until they join singing classes. There should be spaces for them to try and show their capabilities. They can be a famous singer and succeed in their career as well.
To sum up
, it is obvious that people will get to the position that they want if they choose the right career which is suitable for them.
Students
should be offered opportunities to try whatever they want so they can accurately make a decision.
Thus
, I believe that both academic and non-academic
subjects
are equally important.
Submitted by Punpun on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Specific Examples
Try to develop your examples more comprehensively to better illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
Balanced Discussion
Consider balancing the discussion of both views, even when you have a strong stance, to fully address the prompt.
Sentence Variety
Incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures can enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Introduction / Conclusion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are well-supported and contribute to the overall coherence of your essay.
Logical Structure
The logical flow of ideas and effective paragraphing aid in the essay's overall coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: