Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #education #years

Nowadays, some residents suppose that teenagers should learn full of their time until they are at least 18 years old or after attending university.

This

essay will present some reasons why I am not convinced by

this

statement. On the one hand, learning every day will bring lots of good chances for their future. First of all, if learners study all the time, they can graduate with honours.

Therefore

they can easily get good positions or jobs in some companies after graduation.

Besides

, at levels below university, students tend to be lazy and do not have any interest in studying.

Therefore

, parents forcing their children to learn full-time can be said to help pupils become more hard-working.

On the other hand

, there are some issues that need to be paid attention to. First of all, it is about the physical health of students. Learning too much can lead to some diseases

such

as headaches, or insomnia.

In addition

, not only their physical health but

also

their well-being can be affected.

For example

, when learners study too much, they usually tend to skip their sleep.

Therefore

, they are always exhausted.

Furthermore

, the study pressure might lead them to depression. In some countries like China or Korea, pupils learn so much that sometimes they have suicidal thoughts. In conclusion, students need time to relax after stressful classes. Forcing them to learn every day sometimes is counterproductive. The important thing is that they have a suitable schedule and keep a balance between learning and relaxation.

Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on Sun Jun 30 2024

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task achievement

To further improve task response, ensure that each main point is thoroughly developed with detailed explanations and more varied examples.

task achievement

Focus on providing more comprehensive ideas that explore different aspects of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by making smoother transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader seamlessly through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph fully supports your main points with relevant examples and elaborations. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively encapsulates your main points. This contributes positively to the structure of your essay.

task achievement

You provide a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and issues related to full-time education until the age of 18, which showcases a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that finding a job satisfaction is considered the most important thing for the young generation nowadays. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly pepole.