In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?
It is well known that more and more
people
around the globe experience stress.
There are a lot of causes for such
a tendency. Firstly
, nowadays people
want to work
and earn more money than it was in the past, due to
higher demands in society. Therefore
, they don't have enough time to rest and prefer work
to relaxing. Secondly
, because of pandemics like Covid-19, we haven't been able to leave our homes for a long period of time. So, many families have broken up and divorced last
years. This
also
contributed to the amount of stress. Furthermore
, there are plenty of conflicts and crises going on now. Not only were common citizens harmed directly by missiles and wars, but also
other residents witnessed a surge in the costs of products.
On the other hand
, there are a few ways to reduce global stress. For instance
, although
Covid-19 is mostly defeated, people
continue working remotely. But I believe that we should start going to offices again to meet others. However
, places, where we work
, also
need significant changes. For example
, bosses can set up special rooms, where workers will have an opportunity to relax during the day. Moreover
, 4 days working week may help not only people
's health but also
companies' profits. For instance
, a company in Luxemburg had a rise in obtained money when they launched this
system.
To conclude
, the last
years
had a bad influence on our lives, Correct quantifier usage
few years
due to
the pandemic and conflicts, but citizens nowadays need to come back to their previous ways of life. Meanwhile, private companies ought to change offices and make them more attractive places to work
in.Submitted by leshchynser on
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coherence cohesion
To strengthen coherence and cohesion, consider ensuring a smoother flow between ideas. For example, make sure each paragraph naturally leads to the next and use linkers effectively.
task achievement
Enhance task response by elaborating on some points more thoroughly, particularly focusing on why returning to offices and implementing changes can mitigate stress. Provide deeper analysis of these suggestions.
task achievement
Consider diversifying sentence structures to enhance clarity and captivate readers more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes well, effectively summarizing the main points discussed.
task achievement
The provided examples, such as the situation in Luxemburg, support the arguments about stress in a concrete and relevant way.
task achievement
The essay addresses both causes of stress and potential remedies, covering both aspects of the task.
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