IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The world’s air pollution levels are rising year on year. What are the most pressing causes and effects of this disturbing trend?

#world’s #air #pollution #levels #year #effects #trend
In
this
 day and age,
air
pollution
 is one of the essential problems owing to the industrialised world.
As a result
 of many mistakes,
this
 problem has been increasing year by year and has many dangerous
results
. In the rest of
this
 essay, both causes and effects will be analysed. When it comes to causes, fuel usage is the first reason. Take fossil fuels as an example. They have been used for many years since they are easy to use and generate energy.
However
, they are the main reason for global warming, which has an unavoidable effect on human lives. Overpopulation is another reason that has a close connection with fuel usage because the larger the population, the more fuel is used
due to
 industrial activities and transportation means.
Hence
, some connected causes lead to
air
pollution
. Climate change is one of the drawbacks.
For instance
, global warming is one of the harmful
results
 of
air
pollution
. When the weather gets warmer, the glaciers melt, which can affect our food supply and cause famine since it makes it challenging to balance the food pyramid.
In addition
,
air
pollution
 increases the number of human diseases,
such
 as cancers and asthma. In most situations, cancers are deadly and menace human lives, and asthma makes life difficult and limits activity.
Therefore
,
air
pollution
 can put humanity in danger. All in all, our modern and industrial lives have caused many effects on our
air
, which have specific destroying
results
. To prevent the higher level of these
results
, every government should unite and consider practical decisions about
this
 problem. I suggest increasing the use of electric transportation means.
Submitted by axel00lee on

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples and explanations for your points. This will help in making your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs and points to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task and discusses both causes and effects of air pollution.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like fossil fuels and overpopulation, helps to illustrate the points made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • air quality
  • emissions
  • pollutants
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • fossil fuels
  • urbanization
  • industrialization
  • exhaust fumes
  • environmental regulations
  • renewable energy
  • smog
  • ozone layer depletion
  • public health crisis
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