Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In the contemporary era, the majority of people are showing an upward tendency towards using home remedies without considering their doctors' advice.

While

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many argue that

this

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shift brings convenience to individuals, I vehemently consider it

Change preposition

apply

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absolute

Change the word

absolutely

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negative development

due to

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the reasons

this

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essay

further

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elaborates on. One major drawback of

this

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phenomenon is the side effects

rising

Correct your spelling

arising

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from

wrong

Correct article usage

the wrong

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medication. Being not sophistically educated in

this

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field, they don't know what treatment suits them best.

Moreover

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, there is the threat of exacerbating the condition if given

Correct pronoun usage

apply

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the wrong remedy, ultimately jeopardizing their

overall

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health.

In addition

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, as their ailment worsens,

they'd

Verb problem

they

show examples

experience frustration and a mental breakdown. Green tea,

for instance

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recieved

Correct your spelling

received

considerable fame among households for calming chest

pain

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Although

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it relieved the

pain

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, users,

along with

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intensified

pain

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and exhaustion, recorded a subsequent

heartattack

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heart attack

heart-attack

Consequently

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, they not only failed to address the

pain

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but

also

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brought about more mental and physical conditions.

In addition

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, the negative implications of

this

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notion

extends

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extend

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beyond exacerbating the diseases and imparts disadvantages by generating new infirmities which wouldn't have thrived if not used the wrong medication. By targeting the wrong features of a condition, patients trigger other diseases related to that organ or others;

therefore

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, they'd do

permanant

Correct your spelling

permanent

damage to their health. What's more, having to deal with more infirmities at a time, would worsen their mental well-being

further

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, contributing to a reduction in their quality of

lives

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life

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. To illustrate, Iranian people, who'd

token

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taken

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vitamin D without asking their doctors, experienced severe gut ailments caused by the accumulated amount of

vitamine

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vitamin

D years later. In conclusion,

although

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home remedies are seemingly more accessible, they bring about detrimental

reperecussions

Correct your spelling

repercussions

worth considering. In fact, the

exaccerbated

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exacerbated

pain

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together with

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the generation of other infirmities jeopardize individuals' physical and mental health conditions, ultimately lowering their quality of

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on Tue Jul 02 2024

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task achievement

Ensure the essay maintains a formal tone throughout, avoiding any colloquial language.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are slightly awkward or overly complex. Simplifying these or splitting them into shorter sentences can enhance clarity.

task achievement

You have provided a clear position on the topic and supported it with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-explained and logically structured.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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