IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have recently moved to a different house, and you want to give the news to an English-speaking friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit

#house #news #friend #lives #country #visit
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Dear Adam, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health and best of spirits. I am thrilled to inform you that I moved to the same town Collingwood, ON in which you live. I have explored
this
 place and I really
loved
Wrong verb form
love
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 the area. I shifted here because I was offered a job
of
Change preposition
as
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manager
Correct article usage
a manager
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Tim Hortons at a very high pay rate so, I decided to take
this
 opportunity. I have rented a
two-bed room
Correct your spelling
two-bedroom
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 apartment near the
blue mountains
Correct your spelling
Blue Mountains
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. It’s a peaceful place, neighbors are quite friendly. There is a beautiful lawn at the back to enjoy the sunshine
along with
 that there is a huge library as well
at
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on
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 the bottom floor where I can go and study
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
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 of books in my leisure time. I am living alone in my unit and it has been a long time since we
catch-up
Correct your spelling
caught up
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.
Thus
, I want to invite you to visit me the following weekend. I have a lot to talk with you regarding my professional and personal life. Waiting to see you soon. Yours loving, Navneet Kaur.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
You might want to add a bit more detail about why you moved and what specifically you loved about the new area to fully achieve the task.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical structure by making the flow between paragraphs smoother. Adding transitions between ideas can help with this.
task achievement
You included all necessary parts: why you moved, a description of the new house, and an invitation to visit.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are well formulated and appropriate for the context.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a single idea, which makes your letter easy to follow.
task achievement
The writing tone is friendly and suitable for a letter to a friend.
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