Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?
It is often believed that the
government
in many countries should not waste a lot of money
on public celebrations
as it should be invested in more convenient things. I partially agree with this
, for money
should be spent to improve the life of people regardless of the importance of celebrations
to increase the awareness of their own cultures.
On the one hand, the government
should spend money
on celebrations
, which can promote the understanding of cultures and traditions. In other words
, national festivals play a significant role in raising the awareness of rituals and old customs as many people especially young adults are more ignorant of their own backgrounds. For instance
, celebrating children
's day in Japan has been successful in letting them know about a traditional food called "kashiwamochi" that they eat to maintain their health. Even though the government
spends more than a million yen hosting this
national event, more children
are encouraged to respect such
a traditional lifestyle and think about their connections with their ancestors, which is also
beneficial to prevent tradition from disappearing.
On the other hand
, public funds should be invested in other important areas that directly impact people's lives. For example
, there are the growing demands of technology in education, which makes the distribution of a computer
device to each student increasingly essential. Furthermore
, more children
are expected to possess computer
skills such
as searching information and programming that are demanded in current society and the authorities should provide financial support to promote their necessary skills and intelligence. Consequently
, children
will be provided with opportunities to discover different functions of computers, which will be useful in every aspect of their lives in the future.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that the government
should not spend much money
on celebrations
because they can be invested to provide children
with individual computer
devices so they are more likely to gain significant computer
skills. However
, since national celebrations
also
play a critical role in raising the awareness of cultures, the government
is required to make a clever decision.Submitted by mizuho on
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task achievement
You have presented a balanced and well-articulated argument, addressing both sides of the issue effectively. To achieve a higher score, further develop each point with additional specific examples and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both perspectives, offering a nuanced viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is organized around a central idea, and relevant examples are provided to support the arguments.
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