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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in on European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in on European city in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
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The bar graph illustrates the various
modes
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 of transportation used for commuting to and from work in a European city in four groups, namely bus,
car
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, bike and foot, in 1960, 1980, and 2000. Units were measured in the form of
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out the most from the graph is that the largest proportion of
modes
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 were all different in given years. The highest
percentage
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 of
travelers
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travellers
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traveled
Wrong verb form
travelling
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with
Change preposition
by
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cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
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in
Add a missing verb
was in
show examples
 2000,
while
Linking Words
least
Correct word choice
the lowest
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percentage
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 of people chose
the
Correct article usage
a
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car
Use synonyms
 in 1960. The most significant difference in the
percentage
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 of transport
modes
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 was found in
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Change the article
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1960 and 2000. In terms of
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year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1960, foot ranked first in the
modes
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 of transportation for commuting at around 34
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, followed by bike,
bus
Correct word choice
and bus
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, having around 25 and 17
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The most marginal
percentage
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 was found in
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 at approximately 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the same
year
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. With regards to
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year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000,
opposite
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the opposite
an opposite
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 trend was witnessed where the
percentage
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 of
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Add an article
the car
a car
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car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 made up the highest
percentage
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 at around 35
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, and
this
Linking Words
 figure was 30
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 higher than that of 40 years ago. In 1980, all
modes
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 of transportation were taken by travelers, ranging from 15 to 26
percent
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, respectively.
Submitted by rachael0124 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words modes, car, percentage, year, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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