IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

in many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages?

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Mobile apps are widely used for digital
transactions
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 in many nations.
Although
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 sometimes these could be vulnerable to fraud, these are a much more convenient payment method. In my perspective, it is the essentials of the modern society. On the one hand, using digital apps without proper knowledge can lead to a loss of money. An enormous amount of fraud cases are reported by the victims when scammers scam especially the elderly population and those who are not tech-savvy.
For instance
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, there is a proper network of call centres where the workforce is hired and trained to do scams. Through phishing techniques and fraud calls, they manipulate
people
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 on a daily basis. Though security features like two-factor authentication and OTP can make
transactions
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 safe and secure,
people
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 are not aware of these.
Therefore
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, lack of awareness is a threat to capital.
On the other hand
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, cashless payments are much more convenient for businesses and individuals. TH
transactions
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 can be carried from anywhere at any time.
For example
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,
first,
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people
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 overwhelmingly perform payments to their clients, friends, and family. These payments are not only instant but
also
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 safe and secure. One can easily track a record of his income and expenses and generate bank statements.
Then
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, it helps authorities to maintain a record of citizen's
transactions
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 and taxes
accordingly
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.
Hence
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, these provide ease in every walk of life. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 are increasingly using digital wallets. Admittedly there are certain limitations.
However
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, digital wallets are worthwhile.
according to
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 me, their benefits outweigh the harms and it is a need of the modern era.

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task achievement
Ensure clarity and specificity in your examples. While you’ve provided generic instances, try to cite more specific, relatable examples to support your arguments. This will enhance the effectiveness of your essay.
coherence & cohesion
Work on developing your introduction and conclusion further. Both sections should succinctly summarize your main points and clearly state your stance. Consider refining these sections for more impact and clarity.
coherence & cohesion
Focus on the organization of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting statements and examples. Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs for better coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
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