The growing numbers of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is true that the overweight problem has been a main issue in the health field. A number of people suppose that the
school
curriculum needs to emphasize more on physical education learning. I completely agree with the view physical education is one of the solutions to lessen the number of overweight people.
To begin
with,
students
spend a lot of time in the
school
.
In other words
, most of their activities are done in
school
, especially since the development of gadgets nowadays, children no longer exercise in their leisure time.
For example
, some
students
aren't exercising except when it is the
school
's physical teaching lesson.
This
means that the
school
needs to put more attention on physical activities because the active physical condition assists in achieving an active lifestyle as well.
Additionally
, by doing physical lessons in
school
, teachers are able to supervise the learners so that their lifestyle is likely to be managed. Second of all, exercising in
school
means the pupils are having a collective activity with their friends.
For instance
,
students
are most likely to do something when they see their friends are doing something similar. Exercising together has an input on the exchange of emotional support between the
students
. That can help to boost the motivation of the
students
to work on physical movement and improve their athleticism. More of that, it is very recommended for the academy to provide the
students
' competitiveness through
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
games,
for example
. With a sense of competition, pupils might have a stronger motive to enhance fitness. In conclusion, physical learning lessons in
school
have the ability to reduce overweight problems.
However
, the effectiveness depends on the system that the institution makes. I strongly believe that
school
exercise has a great influence on overweight problems.
Submitted by iamthenextawardee on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
While you have presented a clear opinion which is relevant to the prompt, ensure all parts of the task are addressed. Expand on your ideas with detailed examples, and where possible, use data or research to back up your points. It is important that every paragraph directly contributes to the response to the question, rather than simply stating related ideas.
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