Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Shopping, of all kinds, is one of the leisure activities enjoyed by thousands of
people
globally: which has been made even more charismatic
due to
advanced technology.
While
the proponents of online purchase cite its benefits, in terms of convenience, several others contradict
this
notion.
Nonetheless
, I believe that one of the striking outcomes of modernization is e-shopping, owing to its availability , accessibility and portability.
This
essay explores the reasons why some
people
are against online shopping and advocates for its
leverages
Fix the agreement mistake
leverage
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. On the one hand, not only does placing online orders buy some time, but
also
allows consumers to access a diverse range of products.
In other words
, since many departments can be visited simultaneously
due to
the instant access, shoppers can easily make their purchase, at any time of day, in their comfort zone.
Additionally
,
people
can make relatively more smart purchases because of the variety of categories and options offered by online outlets;
as a result
,
such
purchases are more pocket-friendly.
For instance
, several shopping applications are comprised of a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
huge range of products, which captivate consumers because of time-saving and cost-effective potential.
Thus
, it is
lucid
Correct word choice
clear
show examples
that online websites provide a better shopping experience in terms of time and money.
On the other hand
, since shopping websites can be fraudulent, they are not reliable. To elaborate on
this
idea, hardly can the products be apprehended when it comes to online shopping, as not until the order is placed, it is possible to know the quality of the product.
Consequently
, there is
higher
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a higher
show examples
chance of being scammed, leading to an unforeseen financial loss.
For example
, since many online shopping sites are operated by scammers, many
people
are trapped by
such
notorious web pages, suffering huge losses
subsequently
.
Hence
, not all
weblinks
Correct your spelling
web links
show examples
can be trusted and should,
therefore
, be avoided as there are several negative implications for them. In conclusion,
albeit
Correct word choice
although
show examples
online shopping offers convenience and comfort, its downside should not be ignored, as there is an alarming risk of being scammed by it. Notwithstanding, in my perspective, e-shops are more explorative and provide more comfort and relaxation compared to in-store shops, and, thereby, consumers should purchase from well-known websites,
instead
of approaching unreliable webpages, in order to minimise deception
Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, make sure to vary the sentence structures and avoid any redundant words or phrases. This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces your opinion more strongly. This will make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
For a higher task response score, delve deeper into providing more detailed examples and consider counter-arguments more thoroughly. This will enrich your essay and show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your thoughts.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both views on the topic and provided a clear opinion, which fulfills the task requirements well.
task achievement
The use of specific examples strengthens your arguments and provides practical illustrations of your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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