In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Whilst others think that when
people
having to move away from their acquaintances
and families to find work could have many drawbacks, I believe that the advantages of such
decisions are justifiable and would outweigh the disadvantages.
On the one hand, losing bonds between acquaintances
could be very detrimental to one's life. When we need help, having connections could benefit us in various circumstances. For example
, In legal issues, the majority of victims who have acquaintances
in such
a sector could not only alleviate their alleged crime's punishments but also
justify whatever they commit. Furthermore
, the dwindling of family bonds can create a feeling of homesickness, affecting their mental stability and well-being and could result in devastating consequences.
On the other hand
, when exchanging the disconnection of previous acquaintances
for job opportunities, people
could widen their connections in different places. Having friends in other distant places could benefit myriad professional and interpersonal aspects. For instance
, respecting acquaintances
in that place not only could help us to cope with our professional growth, and well-being, and widen our life experience but having strong bonds nationally or even internationally could help them expand their knowledge of other uniqueness in both places. If people
are inclined to preserve their old relationships rather than their own employment and futures, they would deliberately choosing
stagnation over growth
In conclusion, Change the verb form
choose
be choosing
while
temporarily disconnecting oneself from past acquaintances
to seek employment opportunities could follow with multiple disadvantages, the advantages of adapting to the new environment for the growth of others could overshadow the former. People
have to chase for further
changes instead
of lingering into past connections.Submitted by bendy.anhle on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task comprehensively and include detailed arguments for both sides. For instance, provide more examples of personal experience or general knowledge where moving away for work had clear advantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transition between ideas and paragraphs. Use more cohesive devices to link your points clearly. This will help in making your essay logically structured.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on supporting your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will strengthen the arguments you are making and provide clearer evidence to support your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
Task Achievement
The main points are relevant to the topic and address both the advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work, showing a balanced view.